relationships. Horses have a way of looking beyond our bottled up body language and facial expressions, but people often cannot. Our complex social rules dictate that we suck up anger, disappointment, fear and many other emotions when we are in public. This is in direct contract to our horses who show us exactly what they are feeling in the moment they are feeling it.
I have sometimes wondered how different our lives might be if we became more horse-like and just expressed our feelings as we felt them. On one hand our close relationships might become much stronger, as we would have cut through all the red tape that keeps us distanced from some of our loved ones. On the other hand, our casual and workplace relationships would most likely deteriorate. Who wants to be around Debbie Downer in the barn, or ride the trail with a person who expresses all of her anger as you’re trying navigate a tricky, winding path?
We all need to be polite, even when we do not feel like it. And, we all need to make conversation and smile, even during those times when we’d rather be someplace else. But within those constraints that society expects, maybe we can learn to be a little more honest about our thoughts, feelings, and needs when we are with people we love and trust. If we become more conscious of what we think and feel, then maybe we will be more conscious of what those around us think and feel––including our horses.
Trail
Talk
Lisa Wysocky
Lisa Wysocky is a horsewoman and clinician; a PATH instructor, mentor, and ESMHL; and the author of many books..
Find her at LisaWysocky.com
or on Facebook.
Our Truest Emotions
With
I was at the barn the other day scratching Tessie, our lead mare, in the pasture. When one of the other horses approached, however, she pinned her ears, made an ugly face, and the other horse moved away. In that moment I wished that I could be as open and honest in my life as Tessie was in hers.
That’s the thing about horses. They wear their emotions all over their bodies. Once you understand equine language, and then make the effort to look for it, you know without a doubt which emotion your horse is feeing. From a swished tail to the tilt of an ear, horses tell us exactly what is going through their minds.
People . . . not so much. Most people hide their emotions and true feelings so deeply that we get caught up in what we think a friend, co-worker, or loved one felt or meant. Usually we are wrong. Then, after a long delicate dance of convoluted proportions where each person tiptoes around the other, one party’s true feelings might possibly come out. Or not.
The upshot is that our complicated human ritual of hiding our feelings hurts our relationships. Horses have a way of looking beyond our bottled up body language and facial expressions, but people often cannot. Our complex social rules dictate that we suck up anger, disappointment, fear and many other emotions when we are in public. This is in direct contract to our horses who show us exactly what they are feeling in the moment they are feeling it.
I have sometimes wondered how different our lives might be if we became more horse-like and just expressed our feelings as we felt them. On one hand our close relationships might become much stronger, as we would have cut through all the red tape that keeps us distanced from some of our loved ones. On the other hand, our casual and workplace relationships would most likely deteriorate. Who wants to be around Debbie Downer in the barn, or ride the trail with a person who expresses all of her anger as you’re trying navigate a tricky, winding path?
We all need to be polite, even when we do not feel like it. And, we all need to make conversation and smile, even during those times when we’d rather be someplace else. But within those constraints that society expects, maybe we can learn to be a little more honest about our thoughts, feelings, and needs when we are with people we love and trust. If we become more conscious of what we think and feel, then maybe we will be more conscious of what those around us think and feel––including our horses.
ACTHA Monthly | 49