ACTHA Monthly | April 2015 | 44
By Linda Parelli
Photography by Coco / Firefly Foto
I think the most devastating thing I hear from fearful or unconfident students is that they feel stupid. They feel like they shouldn’t be afraid, but when I see them with their horse I say, ”You should be afraid!” Your horse is out of control, your balance and riding skills are not good enough for this situation, and if you act brave, you are going to get hurt or killed. Your fear is keeping you safe and alive and able to pursue your dream with horses. You just need to know when your fear is real and when it is imagined, and then learn how to move forward yet stay safe.
Listen to Your Own Advice
Most people don’t think their fear around horses is justified. You look at others and say, “They’re not afraid. What’s wrong with me?” And there’s only one thing worse, and that’s “should-ing” on yourself: “I should be able to do this; I should not be afraid.” Now not only is fear your enemy, but you are also your own enemy! No one can put more pressure on you than you. When you learn to listen to yourself, to trust your instincts and then take the right steps, things will change for the better because you’ll learn how to manage your fear and overcome it.
Next time you feel afraid or unsure and someone says, “It’s okay, just do it,” think this: It’s not your body that’s getting up there and going to get scared or hurt, it’s mine.
Your Brain is Trained
When your brain senses danger, its job is to keep you safe, and it does that by giving you a fear sensation. In other areas of your life, you would probably heed that fear and not rush headlong into danger. But when you override your fear and do it anyway, or let someone else push you into doing it, your brain will start to make the fear response bigger and bigger
until pretty soon you become incapacitated by it. Then, one day, just looking at your horse makes your life flash before your eyes, and this is the real tragedy, because it makes you give up on your dream.
I’ve even had students ask me to push them through their fear, but I refuse to do it anymore. I’ve seen what happens, and it doesn’t work. Your brain says “danger,” you push through your fear with false bravado, and people are cheering you on. You get on or you canter or do whatever it is that scares you. You did it! You lived! Yes! You’re proud and feel like you’ve made a breakthrough, but the cold, hard truth is yet to come. The next time you’re back where you were, and the fear hasn’t gone away, and sometimes it’s worse.
(continued)
Part 1
OVERCOMING FEAR