SPOTLIGHT to stay at our best for the long haul . We have also found in our research that , while they are compassionate with others , physicians have lower self-compassion than workers in other fields . This puts us at an increased risk for burnout . Selfcompassion is a skill , and one that physicians need to strengthen as part of their self-care efforts .
What does self-care look like to you ? For me , it means exercising regularly , scheduling breaks and vacations , and making sure that I have activities outside of work that I care about . My wife and I have 4 children : 3 daughters ( ages 15 , 10 , and 6 ) and a son who is 13 . So , my wife is my accountability partner in that regard – she keeps me honest and lets me know if I ’ ve been a little disconnected or need to spend more time with one of the kids .
Based on our research , I have also become much more attentive to my sleep habits . Personally , I need 58 hours of sleep each week . How I get it over the course of 7 days can vary , but that is the number I need over the week and I am vigilant in getting it .
Soon after I finished fellowship , one of my daughters had a life-threatening health problem . She ’ s doing better now , but it was a dominant part of our lives for 3 to 4 years and had a powerful reframing effect on my priorities and even on my career . We certainly lived through an intense season as a family .
That experience forced me to live day to day and just enjoy and appreciate each moment with my kids . We never know what the next day will hold and we also never know what might be going on with our colleagues when they ’ re not presenting at the podium or in the clinic . Most of us have something going on behind the scenes , and support and empathy from one another is critical to preserving our ability to do our work .
Where did you meet your wife ? What does she do ? We met at work during my first year of fellowship . She was a first-year nurse on the oncology ward . Our birthdays are 1 day apart , so she had brought in cupcakes for hers and that started a conversation . Fifteen months later , we were married .
Having 4 kids must keep you busy . What do you enjoy doing when you have free time ? Kid activities dominate our lives right now , obviously , but I like to exercise . I still love soccer , and three of our children are avid soccer players , so we all play together . The other child is into drama and acting .
Fixing things around the house is therapeutic for me , as long as I get to pick the project instead of something breaking at the wrong time . I also like to read – typically novels by Michael Crichton or John Grisham or detective fiction … preferably stories that have nothing to do with medicine so I can turn my brain off and escape .
What does your perfect Sunday look like ? For me , Sundays are for stillness . That means getting coffee and reading the newspaper , going to church with the family , watching a bit of football , and probably falling asleep on the couch during the game . Sundays are also time for one
of our anchor points as a family : We always have a family dinner on Sunday nights . After dinner we have what we refer to as “ family coaching ” time . We ’ ll take a topic – something in the news or something going on in one of our lives – and explore it together . I don ’ t remember exactly when it started or where the idea came from , but it ’ s been part of our weekly tradition for about 5 or 6 years now . After , we usually play a game or go for a family walk , then go to bed early so we ’ re refreshed for the week . ●
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