NOVEMBER | OPINION
“I say “I’m an insurance
broker”. A guaranteed
conversation stopper.”
Conversation stopper
Luker Rowe’s Peter Tilsed on industry misconceptions
I
was at the party of a good friend recently
and came to the conclusion that I should
be employed in the event industry. It
was a typical party where you chat to
friends, but you also start conversations
with people you’ve never met before.
You have a few beers and you start a talk
about holidays, cars, where you live and how
old your kids are. Then comes the question
“So what do you do?” This is the point
where I think if I was employed in the event
industry I could say “I was a cameraman on
the Rolling Stones worldwide tour”, or maybe
“We’ve been installing screens for a new
stage show which was valued at £1m” or even
“I had to source trapeze artists, jugglers and
stilt walkers for the recent street festival”.
Instead I say “I’m an insurance broker”.
A guaranteed conversation stopper. They
18
might politely comment “That sounds
interesting” but wouldn’t really mean it, or
they might just decide that it’s time to get
another beer. It wouldn’t even be as bad if I
could provide some true examples similar to
the Jasper Carrot sketch where he read out
real life statements from insurance claims.
For younger readers, he was a comedian who
as part of his sketch just read out insurance
claims such as:
• “I collided with a stationary truck coming
the other way.”
• “Coming home, I drove into the wrong
house and collided with a tree I don’t
have.”
• “The guy was all over the road. I had to
swerve a number of times before I hit
him.”
• “The pedestrian had no idea which way to
run as I ran over him.”
• “The accident happened because I had
one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on
the pedestrian and the other on the car
behind.”
After an initial pause, the conversation
continues with those that have still got
enough left in their glass that they can’t
leave with the excuse that they want
another drink. There then can follow a very
strange logic which seems to go like this:
Insurance is part of the financial services
industry → Bankers are part of the financial
service industry → City bankers earn a
fortune → therefore you must be earning a
fortune. If only it was true!
It is probably a similar analogy to saying
Harvey Goldsmith (younger readers may
need to look at Wikipedia) produced many
of the biggest music events and became a
millionaire, so every other event organiser
must be a millionaire.
The party moves on and I gain the friends
back by talking about my other interests
– cricket, ballroom dancing, scouts and
gardening. They are so enthralled that they
go away to bring their friends over but for
some reason never return.
So I’ve now changed my approach. I say
“I’m a risk advisor to the event industry”.
That’s true. It’s what I do. Just means that
people are still happy to have a beer with me.
Until I go on to cricket, ballroom dancing ….
It’s time to go home so I look for my wife
who has disappeared. It turns out she was
chatting to some guy that was on the recent
worldwide Rolling Stones tour.