Accelerate Thru Conflict Magazine Issue 1 | Page 4

ASHLEY TURNER 5 BECAUSE PEOPLE STILL HEAR WHAT YOU’RE NOT SAYING: STEPS TO STOP SUGARCOATING & SPEAK YOUR TRUTH T he truth shall set you free! Clean + simple. Nothing else liberates us, frees up stuck energy, lightens our load as much as taking an honest look at what’s happening, seeing things clearly and speaking the truth with ease and grace. Here are 5 simple steps to help you start living and telling the truth. 1. NOTICE IN WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES OR AROUND WHOM YOU TEND TO WITHHOLD YOUR TRUTH OR SUGARCOAT. Where do you find yourself ‘talking in circles’ or never getting to the ‘heart of the matter’? Often this happens with colleagues, or other people in our career that we may feel intimidated by or we feel that they have ‘power over us’. Begin to notice who triggers you to keep quiet or hesitate. Do they remind you of a critical teacher or parent? A dominating sibling? The girl in your grade school who always knew the right answer before you? Or are you trying to protect a lover, co-worker or spouse by not clearly stating your needs, concerns or offering relevant constructive criticism? Awareness is everything. Just noticing where we shut ourselves down (or up) is the start of changing the pattern. The Matthews' creating their father/son YouTube channel! 2. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO TAKE YOUR TIME TO BUILD UP YOUR COURAGE + GET CLEAR. Speaking truth is a muscle we build. Sometimes, we need a little extra nudge or the ‘inner cheerleader’ to encourage us to fully express ourselves. Instead of beating yourself up for not saying what you really wanted to on that phone call, congratulate yourself for noticing the habit of avoidance or sugarcoating. Then, make a vow to call the person back or set an appropriate time to revisit the conversation. Sometimes, it takes awhile to develop the clarity of what we really want to say and how. It may be necessary to 4 • ACCELER ATE THRU CONFLIC T