ABUSE_MAGAZINE_ID_ Illinois issue | Page 8

Raised With Shame Being Raised With Shame Loran Mutual Insurance Co. 128 South Main Street • Pearl City, IL “We are proud to insure our youth as they go down the ABUSE FREE road!” WILDBERRY FARMS 815-777-1107 • Hanover, IL “We are proud to help our youth grow up to be ABUSE FREE Adults!” Levan Cabinets & Millwork 8065 Highway 78 South • Stockton, IL 815-275-3606 We care about our youth, so we get involved to keep them ABUSE FREE! B SQUARED CONCRETE, INC 3626 South Massbach Rd. • Stockton, IL 815-947-3154 We are proud to lay an ABUSE FREE foundation for our youth! SPAHN & ROSE LUMBER CO. 116 W. Queen Ave. • Stockton, IL 815-947-3214 We are proud to support and help build an ABUSE FREE future for our youth. 8 Throughout my 27-year career of working with sexually abused women, I find most of them carry an enormous amount of shame. Growing up many of them have been manipulated into believing they didn’t have unconditional worth. By this I mean, we all have worth. Not because of what we do, what we look like, or the things we accomplish. We have worth because we have been made by God and He values us. Period. Instead, their value as a human being has been attached to the manipulation that was taking place for them to “service” an adult in their life. Because of this conditional value, their wellbeing as a valuable and dignified person was physically and emotionally compromised. A girl full of shame from a dysfunctional or “shame-based” childhood carries repetitive messages internally that makes her feel like she was and is “ unworthy or less than” other people. She believes she was and is not worthy of proper care and protection. She often has grown up believing her purpose was and is to be “used” by others. I will never forget a sweet 18-year old girl telling me “All men have ever wanted to do is play with my body and my mind.” I wanted to weep. This young woman was so confused and hopeless about who she was as a human, and also about her future. Children are falsely shamed by adults for a variety of reasons; being curious, being a non-conformist, for needing what they needed, for feeling what they felt, for their body, for spiritual things, and the list goes on. These children are often raised with repetitive messages like “you are in the way,” or “you don’t belong,” or “what you feel isn’t important.” Sometimes the messages are even more traumatic like “you exist for my pleasure,” or “you are the cause of all my problems,” or “I wish you had never been born.” A child doesn’t get to choose when she is born or to whom. And children are sponges and absorb whatever their caretakers throw at them. As a child grows they begin the process of repeating these messages to themselves and thus internalizing the messages as their own, and as their truth. When they approach the teen years they are likely to “act out” these messages and become their own abuser. In other words, they have taken on the responsibility of perpetuating the message in their own head. | Illinois Spring/Summer 2013 | abusemagazine.org When I work with women, often the lies they believe about themselves are traceable to a variety of adults who repeatedly scolded them for these things when they were little. I remember a client telling me that she struggled with making her bed. When I explored the issue with her we found that while she was making her bed she would hear her mother’s voice in her head saying, “You never do that right. What is wrong with you? You are so incompetent.” So in essence, she had taken on the job of reinforcing her mother’s dysfunctional message to herself. In the counseling session I would often say “Wow, you are talking to yourself for her!” Most of the time the women I worked with were completely unaware that their self-talk had become so destructive and was perpetuating lies from their childhood. It took some time to get out from under the oppression these messages created emotionally. If you are reading this article and saying to yourself, “That sounds just like me,” then I want to speak to you about that right now. I want you to ask yourself, “What are the shaming messages I am giving myself?” I want you to know those messages are NOT your messages. You have borrowed them from someone in your life that was dysfunctional and confused. They might have been someone you loved, or still love, but that does not discount the fact that their messages are lies, and you don’t have to believe them anymore. What you believe about yourself, your world and your future is up to you more then you realize. The Bible says, “When I was a child I thought as a child… but now I have put away childish things.” In other words, you can learn to treat yourself with the respect and care that you needed when you were little, but didn’t get. By the way, you deserved respectful treatment when you were little, just like any child does. It’s just that you didn’t get it, because the people around you weren’t able to give it to you. So its time to break the cycle. YOU CAN DO IT! Source: Ruth Harbor – www.ruthharbor.org