ABUSE MAGAZINE
Photo Source: m.btvnews.bg
Photo Source:
Photo
Source
: www
.neuro
pe.eu
My experiences with
abuse
www.pinoyex
change.com
I was born to an alcoholic father and neurotic mother. At age two my parents were
divorced and I was subsequently adopted by
another alcoholic~adoptive father. He was
abusive. He gave me “reminders” every now
and then typically by way of a belt, grabbing
my throat and hair, kicking but not to the
extent that I had bruises that may tip off a
teacher or other adult. But this was also in the
1970s, when child abuse was just beginning to
be identified as a social problem that is more
than a domestic issue. He called me “stupid”
frequently, as well as, other names I will not
mention in this editorial. Looking back, being
the product of an alcoholic father with several
character defects, I was difficult to manage.
I loathed authority and fought back albeit
passively. My adoptive father came from the
Navy. So I was often in survival mode as a
youngster. At age 17 he finally gave up trying
to raise me. He told me to never contact him
again and he meant it. I haven’t had contact
with him now for 32 years.
At age 17 I dropped out of high school in
my senior year. My mother left my adoptive
father after their business (Baxter Boat Dock)
burned into the water of Table Rock Lake in
southern Missouri. That was their second business; their first was a small airport where my
adoptive father taught me to fly. See, he was
not always abusive, he also taught me some
good life lessons, like to work hard. I earned
my GED then learned the hard way I wasn’t
going to be able to make a decent living
without a college education. I married young,
divorced young, then was a single parent at
age 20 after the judge awarded me physical
custody of Jessica when she was 15 months
old. I remarried when she was 5, along came
two more daughters, and my use of alcohol to
cope was now becoming a problem.
Source: by David Ekman - MEDOVIN.COM (Trustworthy Counseling)
At age 30 I went to detox for alcohol, then
intensive outpatient. I drank off and on for
years finally hitting bottom in the winter of
2010. By then I had not been inebriated since
March 31, 2008 but I was homeless, jobless,
wrecked my relationships with my children,
two DUIs and was floundering without any
sense of who I was or where I was going. I was
very spiritually ill. Since the winter of 2010
my life has been getting slowly better without
the thought of drinking ever returning.
But here’s an important point I hope you
remember. For years I felt sorry for myself.
I had been abused physically, mentally and
emotionally, and I used that fact along with
losing a very good job due to my substance
abuse to throw a pity party for myself that
lasted 7 years. Hindsight is 20/20. Being a
senior and faced with making important decisions about your future I hope you remember
that whatever comes your way it is always
up to you; the ball is always in your court.
That’s just an existential reality that can’t be
changed. What others have done to you, what
is outside of you is irrelevant because it’·s
beyond your control. Addiction can be insidious and a subtle foe; it can sneak up on you.
As part of my dissertation I learned a growing
consensus of research shows that those who
are motivated to use alcohol (and/or other
drugs) to cope are at increased risk for substance-related problems. Reach out for help
if you need it. Strive to better know yourself
and pay attention. Be mindful of how you’re
feeling and what you’re doing. Like Ellen says,
“Be kind to one another’’. Don’t abuse others
and don’t abuse alcohol and other drugs.
Above all, believe in something greater than
yourself. At some point along your life journey
you’ll need it.
stop
the abuse
475 Schmale Rd.
Carol Stream, IL
630-462-8607
“We are proud to help
our youth Build an
ABUSE FREE Future!
630-961-5800
Wendy’s is proud to be
a drug free workplace!
40 Shuman Blvd. Ste #130 • Naperville, IL
210 Alexandra Way • Carol Stream, IL
630-871-1111
Proudly providing our youth
with the POWER to say NO
to drugs & alcohol.
www.inlandpowergroup.com
abusemagazine.org | Illinois Spring/Summer 2014 |
13