Page 13 | ABUSE Magazine
abusemagazine.org
to hear from you explicitly that it’s
not normal, OK, or tolerable to bully, to be bullied, or to watch other
kids be bullied. Kids need to understand that when they bully their
peers, they are doing harm not only
to those victims, but also to kids
who witness their actions and even
to themselves. Children who repeatedly bully others tend to end up as
adults having increased depression,
anger, and conflict with other adults—
and are more likely to be convicted
of a crime. Your child needs your
love and care to get back on track.
2. Make a commitment to help your
child find healthy ways to resolve
conflict and to stop bullying others.
Start by determining why your child
is bullying: is it the draw of social
power or status? Or perhaps, a natural temperament that needs more
adult regulation, or a case of copying
peers? Is it possible your kid’s being
bullied by others, and is lashing out
with pro-active behavior to try to
keep from getting bullied? A teacher, counselor or mental health professional may be able to help with
this process. Once you get a handle
on why the bullying is occurring, you
can then help your child come up
with alternate behaviors or ideas to
gain leadership and “social status”
that don’t involve excluding others or
physical and verbal bullying. Provide
specific examples from your own experience or from carefully screened
books and media. Support your child’s
efforts to communicate the plan and
ideas to teachers and administrators
and to implement the plan at school.
3. Schedule an appointment to talk
with school staff including your child’s
teacher(s) and the school counselor.
Share your concerns. Work together to
send clear messages to your child that
bullying won’t be accepted at home or
at school and must stop. Set up a hierarchy of clear consequences that do