SCHOLARSHIP WINNER
Learning From My Mothers Addiction ........
ABUSE Magazine wants to congratulate Shelby Kay Anderson , a senior at Sidney High School in Sidney Iowa . ABUSE Magazine and our staff wants to congratulate her for winning the ABUSE Scholarship and we encourage her to pursuit her academic goals . We also would like to encourage future seniors to participate in our essay contest .
When I was a young child my mother was into drugs and moved my 2 sisters and me from town to town and state to state . She had already given up 4 children so you can imagine how unstable my life was . I spent weekends with my grandparents when we did live close but there were times they would come to pick me up and our house would be empty . Once they came and found our front door kicked in and furniture slashed open , drawers emptied onto the floor , and almost everything left behind . I was too young to remember but I imagine we left in a hurry and somebody came looking for drugs . Then my grandparents would just sit and wait for a phone call that sometimes took months to come . At one point I lived in California for almost a year before they heard from me and that was only because we were moving again and ran out of money while on the road . My Mother was stranded with 3 kids and no way to put gas in the car or feed her kids . My mother called my grandparents and my Grandpa drove 6 hours to come get us . He bought us all food and put gas in my mother ’ s car to get us back to Iowa . That didn ’ t last long and we were on the move again .
When I was in kindergarten she moved in with a man that would supply her with the drugs she craved . I remember being locked in a bedroom and given one piece of pizza for the 3 of us girls to share while my mother and her friends partied in the living room . My only escape was being close to my Grandma and Grandpa . They bought my clothes , brought groceries for us , and even paid our rent a few times , hoping my mother would stay in one place . I guess that was too much to hope for .
It got to the point where her relationship with this man turned physically and mentally abusive and she had a moment of clarity . She called one of my sisters ’ s Dad . He came from Maryland to Nebraska and took all 3 of us back with him . My sister ’ s Dad became my Dad at that point . He raised me for the next few years and loved me like his own .
Unfortunately , his job required travel and I attended 20 plus schools in 3 different states . I needed a sense of stability and in 7th grade I moved to Iowa to live with my grandparents and attended 1 school for the next 6 years . I graduated with honors in May and will attend college in the fall with hopes of becoming an attorney . I will be the first in my family to attend college and am looking forward to a successful career .
The one right thing my mother did was to give us up . I do not have a relationship with her because she has not changed her ways . To me , if you have a family , you take care of that family . That ’ s probably the biggest lesson I learned from my childhood .
I want to be somebody , have a career , and feel like I am contributing something to society . I want to get married , have children , and have a real family and never let my children feel I am not there for them . I made a vow to myself long ago to never do drugs because I have seen what they can do to a person and the effects it has on those close to that person .
I may have “ lost ” my Mother along the way but I feel because of my experience I have gained so much more . I don ’ t know where I would be at this point in my life if I had been raised by my Mother . I doubt if I would have graduated with honors . Perhaps I wouldn ’ t have graduated at all . I was given a second chance and I am going to use that to be the best person I can be . So maybe I owe my Mother a thanks ?? I don ’ t know ...... What I do know is this . I am a good person . I turned out okay in spite of my childhood . I will continue to be a good person and try to help any struggling person along the way .
To all those in my life that helped me , you have my undying gratitude . You helped shape me and gave me the courage to speak about what I went through . Children should be taught to tell someone if they are in this type of situation . Ask for help . All children deserve a chance .
Enrolled at Iowa Western Community College , Council Bluffs , Iowa for Fall 2013 to study pre-law for 2 years . Plan to transfer to Creighton in Omaha , NE to get my law degree .
4 | Iowa Fall / Winter 2013-2014 | abusemagazine . org
Shelby Kay Anderson Sidney High School , IA