SCHOLARSHIP WINNER
Learning From My Mothers Addiction........
ABUSE Magazine wants to congratulate Shelby Kay Anderson, a senior at Sidney High School in Sidney Iowa. ABUSE Magazine and our staff wants to congratulate her for winning the ABUSE Scholarship and we encourage her to pursuit her academic goals. We also would like to encourage future seniors to participate in our essay contest.
When I was a young child my mother was into drugs and moved my 2 sisters and me from town to town and state to state. She had already given up 4 children so you can imagine how unstable my life was. I spent weekends with my grandparents when we did live close but there were times they would come to pick me up and our house would be empty. Once they came and found our front door kicked in and furniture slashed open, drawers emptied onto the floor, and almost everything left behind. I was too young to remember but I imagine we left in a hurry and somebody came looking for drugs. Then my grandparents would just sit and wait for a phone call that sometimes took months to come. At one point I lived in California for almost a year before they heard from me and that was only because we were moving again and ran out of money while on the road. My Mother was stranded with 3 kids and no way to put gas in the car or feed her kids. My mother called my grandparents and my Grandpa drove 6 hours to come get us. He bought us all food and put gas in my mother’ s car to get us back to Iowa. That didn’ t last long and we were on the move again.
When I was in kindergarten she moved in with a man that would supply her with the drugs she craved. I remember being locked in a bedroom and given one piece of pizza for the 3 of us girls to share while my mother and her friends partied in the living room. My only escape was being close to my Grandma and Grandpa. They bought my clothes, brought groceries for us, and even paid our rent a few times, hoping my mother would stay in one place. I guess that was too much to hope for.
It got to the point where her relationship with this man turned physically and mentally abusive and she had a moment of clarity. She called one of my sisters’ s Dad. He came from Maryland to Nebraska and took all 3 of us back with him. My sister’ s Dad became my Dad at that point. He raised me for the next few years and loved me like his own.
Unfortunately, his job required travel and I attended 20 plus schools in 3 different states. I needed a sense of stability and in 7th grade I moved to Iowa to live with my grandparents and attended 1 school for the next 6 years. I graduated with honors in May and will attend college in the fall with hopes of becoming an attorney. I will be the first in my family to attend college and am looking forward to a successful career.
The one right thing my mother did was to give us up. I do not have a relationship with her because she has not changed her ways. To me, if you have a family, you take care of that family. That’ s probably the biggest lesson I learned from my childhood.
I want to be somebody, have a career, and feel like I am contributing something to society. I want to get married, have children, and have a real family and never let my children feel I am not there for them. I made a vow to myself long ago to never do drugs because I have seen what they can do to a person and the effects it has on those close to that person.
I may have“ lost” my Mother along the way but I feel because of my experience I have gained so much more. I don’ t know where I would be at this point in my life if I had been raised by my Mother. I doubt if I would have graduated with honors. Perhaps I wouldn’ t have graduated at all. I was given a second chance and I am going to use that to be the best person I can be. So maybe I owe my Mother a thanks?? I don’ t know...... What I do know is this. I am a good person. I turned out okay in spite of my childhood. I will continue to be a good person and try to help any struggling person along the way.
To all those in my life that helped me, you have my undying gratitude. You helped shape me and gave me the courage to speak about what I went through. Children should be taught to tell someone if they are in this type of situation. Ask for help. All children deserve a chance.
Enrolled at Iowa Western Community College, Council Bluffs, Iowa for Fall 2013 to study pre-law for 2 years. Plan to transfer to Creighton in Omaha, NE to get my law degree.
4 | Iowa Fall / Winter 2013-2014 | abusemagazine. org
Shelby Kay Anderson Sidney High School, IA