ABUSE MAGAZINE
Parents and teens can bridge the communication gap with a little
patience and a healthy measure of R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
A parent’s view of speech development: it begins in infancy, blossoms in childhood, and stops
dead in its tracks at adolescence.
A teenager’s view of speech development: “My parents don’t understand a word I’m saying.”
You don’t need a degree in communications to know that parents and teenagers seem to spend
more time talking at and past one another
than to or with one another. Chalk it up to
different agendas, the stress of daily life, or
familiarity breeding contempt. Whatever the
1. Try to understand the situation
reason, adolescents and their folks are as good
from your parents’ point of view.
at making conversation as the construction crew
If your goal is to be allowed to
at the Tower of Babel.
stay out later on Saturday night,
For Teenagers
What can you do to
communicate better? Our
experts offer these tips both
parents and teenagers:
For Parents
1. Don’t lecture your teen, have
a conversation. When parents
complain “my teenager doesn’t
want to talk to me,” what they’re
really complaining about is “my
teenager doesn’t want to listen
to me.” Conversation involves at
least two people.
2. Don’t attack. “The conversation
between any two people will
break down if one of the two is
put on the defensive and made
to feel he’s being accused of
something.”
3. Show respect for your teen’s
opinions. Teenagers can be
surprisingly easy to talk with if the
parents make it clear that they’re
listening to the teen’s point of
view.
4. Keep it short and simple. “Almost
every parent says at least 50%
more than he or she should. Shut
up. Remember when you were a
teen and your parents lectured
at you? And you thought, ‘Will
you please stop; I already got the
point!’ Stop before your teen gets
there.”
We are proud to help
lay a strong ABUSE FREE
foundation for our youth!
for example, try to anticipate
what they are concerned about,
such as your safety and your
whereabouts.
2. Address their concerns honestly
and directly. Try saying something
like, “If I am allowed to stay out
later, I will tell you in advance
where I’m going to be so you know
how to reach me,” or “I’ll call
you to let you know what time I’m
going to be home, and that way
you won’t have to worry about it.”
3. Don’t go on the defensive. If
you feel deeply about the subject
of the conversation -- clothes,
friends, politics, sex, drugs,
whatever -- stick to your guns, but
listen to what your parents have
to say.
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4. Don’t criticize or ridicule their
viewpoints. Show them and their
opinions the respect you want
them to give you.
5. Make requests. Don’t issue a list
of demands.
6. Make “I” statements. Explain
your concerns by saying things
such as “I feel you’re not being
fair.” Or, “I feel like you’re not
listening to my side.” Avoid “you”
statements, such as “You don’t
know wh