aBr May 2014 | Page 114

| by Baron Claude Borlz Last Writes you will always find on the last page of ABR, because all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Some South African humour: Since this is election month, this election poster which has been doing the rounds may solve your problems – so just treat 7 May as a holiday. I recently visited Brazil, and the currency declaration that you had to fill in was interesting: they are really worried about hot money! With our Super Rugby sides not doing so well, I thought that it was time we brought Bakkies Botha back, with some Chuck Norris type observations: Die body builder vat die blondine na sy woonstel. Hy trek sy hemp uit en die blondine se: “Oe, maar jou borskas is gespierd!” Hy se: “Dis 100 kg dinamiet, liefie” Die body builder trek sy langbroek uit en die blondine se: “Oe, maar jou kuite is massief!” Hy se: “Dis 100 kg dinamiet, liefie!” Die body builder het planne met haar en trek sy onderbroek uit. Skielik rek die blondine se oe so groot soos pierings en sy hardloop al gillend weg. Die body builder trek sy broek vinnig aan en hardloop agter haar aan. Hy haal haar in en vra hoekom sy so uit sy woonstel weggehardloop het. Die blondine antwoord: “Ek was vreeslik bang om naby al daai dinamiet te wees ...nadat ek gesien het hoe kort die fuse is.” My skoonma kla alewig dat niemand haar meer bel nie...Toe sit ek ‘n “How’s My Driving” sticker op haar kar se bumper, met haar nommer op... nou lui haar foon sonder ophou! And finally, some pictures that need no caption ….. Bakkies Botha bit the Apple logo. Bakkies Botha has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life Bakkies Botha doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it Bakkies Botha can strangle you with a cordless phone Death once had a near-Bakkies Botha experience Bakkies Botha can slam a revolving door Bakkies Botha doesn’t need a GPS. Bakkies Botha decides where he is Bakkies Botha was in all 6 Star Wars movies... as The Force The sheep on Bakkies Botha’ farm are the ones that give us steel wool Bakkies Botha can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together Bakkies Botha will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him Bakkies Botha can speak Braille When Bakkies Botha thr