aBr June 2014 June 2014 | Page 96

the fink In lieu of… Bikers Corner Bike Torque – a series of chats on the motorcycle world by Gavin Foster Trying to argue that motorcycles aren’t dangerous is like claiming an absence of proof that smoking causes cancer. Some bikers ride like hooligans for their whole lives and get away with it, while everybody has a story to tell about an uncle who smoked from the age of six months until he died at 93 after being shot by a jealous husband, but there’s no doubt that both riding motorcycles and smoking can shorten your life considerably if – or when - things go wrong. M any years ago South Africa’s most famous motorcycle journalist, Simon Fourie took the Durban based Sunday Express to court after it claimed in an article that South African bikers were maiming themselves in droves. An aggrieved Fourie, at the time misguidedly training to become a lawyer, produced statistics proving that the buggers had exaggerated in their story, and when the newsmen refused to print a retraction, summonsed them to prove their case in court. The trial degenerated into a comedy show when Fourie, incensed by what he saw as the defence team’s untruths, leapt to his feet from his wheelchair, only to emulate his Kyalami experience and plummet to the ground. Then the court orderlies tried to pick up the stricken plaintiff by his arm, which was also broken. Once he’d stopped screaming Fourie peered up at the judge from his supine position and said “If you don’t mind, your honour, I’d like to address the court from the floor.” The laughter eventually died down, and Fourie won his case. On the day of the hearing Fourie rolled into court in a wheelchair because he’d broken seven bones racing his motorcycle at Kyalami the previous weekend. The judge took one look at our battered hero and upbraided the Sunday Express legal team for dragging this poor soul to court in an overdramatic attempt to prove its case. His Worship then had to apologise when the defence pointed out that the wheelchair warrior was in fact the plaintiff, the man who claimed motorbikes were safe. Anyway, despite Fourie’s court victory, motorcycles certainly can be dangerous, so I was surprised to read that of the 350 000 or so motorcycles registered in our country, fewer than one in a thousand is involved in a fatal accident each year. From then on things went downhill – or got better, if you had a sense of humour. For minibuses the figure is about 6,5/1000, passenger cars score 1,3/1000 and buses 9,6. The average across the board is – or was, in 2006 where I got my statistics – 1,71 vehicles per thousand involved in fatal accidents. What may skew the results, though, is the fact that most bikes cover much less distance each year than does the average car, | words in action 94 june 2014 bus or minibus, and don’t wipe out 40 passengers every time the driver goes faulty. . What really irks me is the way the authorities ignore the real risks while focusing on revenue collecting rather than road safety. Speed traps and road blocks are their weapons of choice, while common sense goes out the window. Take a look at the accompanying photograph. At the top of Fields Hill, on the M13 heading towards Pinetown from Pietermaritzburg, is a pedestrian bridge, and on this bridge you will often see a speed camera cunningly tucked away behind a weight restriction signboard, set so as to catch a motorcycle’s rear number plate. In this photo you will also see a truck illegally stopped on the freeway, with a man standing in front of it, holding a baby and talking to a woman. If you look hard you’ll see the back of the camera high up behind them. I watched this little lot for about 20 minutes, during which the traffic cop on duty alternated by dozing in the deck chair next to his bakkie at the end of the bridge, and wandering across to the camera. I rest my case.