LAST WRITES
BY BARON CLAUDE BORLZ
TIME FOR A LAUGH
• I miss times when I was working at the zoo. My boss fired me just because I left the lion’ s gate open. I mean who would steal a lion?
• I was in a cab today and the cab driver said,“ I love my job, I’ m my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.” Then I said,“ turn left”.
• Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get to the Pharmacy for their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
• Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and yet get a diet coke?
• Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens on the counter tops?
• Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?
• Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darkens our skin?
• Why can’ t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
• Why is *’ abbreviated’* such a long word?
• Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do‘ practice’?
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called the rush hour?
• Why do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
• You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’ t they make the whole plane out of that stuff??
• Why don’ t sheep shrink when it rains, whereas Sweaters of Wool, do?
• Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
• If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
THIS’ LL FREAK YOU OUT
WORD DORMITORY PRESBYTERIAN ASTRONOMER DESPERATION THE EYES GEORGE BUSH THE MORSE CODE SLOT MACHINES ANIMOSITY ELECTION RESULTS MOTHER IN LAW SNOOZE ALARMS A DECIMAL POINT THE EARTHQUAKES ELEVEN PLUS TWO
REARRANGE THE LETTERS DIRTY ROOM BEST IN PRAYER MOON STARTER A ROPE ENDS IT THEY SEE HE BUGS GORE HERE COMES DOTS CASH LOST IN ME IS NO AMITY LIES LET’ S RECOUNT WOMAN HITLER ALAS NO MORE Z’ S IM A DOT IN PLACE THAT QUEER SHAKE TWELVE PLUS ONE
aBr WORDS IN ACTION 32 MAY 2025