ne in twenty-thousand people have Rickets. I am that one. When I was little, I had bowed legs, but the doctors told my parents I would grow out of it. They were correct in a sense; my legs then grew inwards causing me to be knock-kneed. My pediatrician said I had flat feet and growing pains. However, I never seemed to be growing, vertically that was. After getting orthotics, my podiatrist suggested I go see an orthopedist and Children's Hospital in Boston.
As a fifth grader walking into Children's Hospital I was completely humbled. I could walk into the building unlike a lot of other kids. When I was diagnosed that day with X-linked hypophosphatemic rickets, things finally made sense. I never really noticed my deformed legs as a child. I was used to getting picked last for teams and not being able to run the mile in gym. I finally had an excuse for my physical pain, but I could no longer ignore my legs.
I was different.
The emotional pain started around junior high. I was called a gimp and my peers laughed at me when I ran. I was so embarrassed I started to bring in gym notes. I also started to wear sweat pants so the shape of my legs could not be easily noticed. By the time I was in eighth grade, I had had two leg surgeries. My right knee growth plates had been stapled; my right leg was knock-kneed, and my left was bowed. This was my favorite stage; my knees appeared to be wind-swept. My right leg became straight, but my left took two more surgeries including an osteotomy.
Three weeks ago I had my fourth leg surgery, removing some hardware from below my left knee. It was a simple procedure and I was told it would be the last. My family and
friends call me a trooper, but I just like to think it was my fate. I embrace my limp, my scars, and my typically symptomatic over-sized head. At the end of the day I may be burdened, but I can still walk. I am that one in twenty-thousand, and I am proud.
"...and I am proud."
big-headed
gimp
erin hollander
2010
O
"Self Portrait with Mirror" by:
MICHELLE HOWARD (2000)
American Visions Award Nomination, Painting
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