Abington High School Student Arts Magazine 2015-2016 | Page 46

January 1st. 1999

So I started this journal to go along with my experiment; I wanted to see how long one could go without eating. Now I’ve heard it’s about a week that one can go without eating, but I want to see for myself,

Now I have rules to this experiment:

-No eating, obviously

-Any drinks are allowed, besides smoothies, shakes, or anything filling like that.

-And I MUST record in this everyday with everything I have done, just for that specific

day, however.

Those are the main rules and I thought they should be written down. Oh, and also I am confined in my hotel room. I am allowed to have the windows open, but just for fresh air. The only exception to me leaving my hotel room is going to get a drink from the vending machine, which will most likely be needed.

Would you look at the time! It’s already 11:36 pm. I need to sleep.

My report on today: Successful; no hunger.

January 2nd, 1999

Hello again! I would ask how you’re doing, but you’re not real! Oh, I’m so funny, I make myself laugh.

Anyway, here is my report on today, it’s gonna be short, seeing as there is not much to do in this hotel.

My alarm went off at around 11 a.m. this morning, I let myself sleep so late because the more I sleep the less hungry I am. When I woke up I took a shower and then sat and watched TV, until now basically. It’s currently 10:53 p.m.

Someone walked by with Dunkin Donuts this morning and oh my god it smelled so good. I could smell the fresh coffee, and the bagels that seemed like they had just come out of the toaster. Oh my, I can just taste the bagels as I write thi- What am I doing?! I can’t be thinking about food, I’ll become even more hungry than I already am. Maybe I just need a minute away, I think I will go call a friend…

January 2, 1999

Sorry, I forgot to write after I called my friend. The call only lasted about 5 minutes, not even. She didn’t pick up. I didn’t bother to leave her a voicemail, I never see a point in leaving one.

My hand is starting to hurt, I think I’m gonna go to bed now, goodnight journal.

My report on today: Starting to get a little hungry and craving bagels.

January 3, 1999

I feel as if I should start recording the times that I write in here, not sure yet. Well anyways, today I was actually quite busy. I had a lot of work to do for my job, I work as a teacher at a high school nearby. I had to grade some work, for when I get back. But the rest of my day, besides grading things, was decent.

I woke up around noon, which is unusual for me, but I just let it happen. Then I took a shower, here is where it’s going to get interesting. While I was taking my shower, me being very clumsy, I slid and hit my head on the wall. I never knew until now that my head could literally throb. Like it has its own heart! All I know is now I have a major headache and crying hasn’t done much to help ease my pain. If anything, it’s made it worse. That’s a friendly reminder not to dance in the shower kids, no matter how much you want to unleash your inner Michael Jackson, you’ll hurt yourself. I most likely have a concussion but I can’t get it looked at because I am not allowed to leave this hotel room unless I am getting a soda or any type of drink from the machine across the hall. Did I even write that rule down? I honestly can’t remember much before I fell. The only thing I can remember was my last meal and how good some chicken nuggets would be right now.

My report on today: Hungry, like I am in pain. Please get me some food.

January 4, 1999

I can’t do this much longer. I almost forgot to write today because I was too busy focusing on the sound of my stomach growling at me. The only things I know how to do are write and cry because of the pain in my head.

I don’t know why I told myself to do this experiment. Oh god why would I do this to myself? Everything just looks so edible, the bed looks edible, and so does the pillow… And so does my arm, and my leg. I wonder what human meat tastes like…

Dear lord, what am I thinking. I completely locked myself in this room, no drinks, no nothing. I just locked myself in this room, thinking I cut off everything edible, but I forgot one thing. I’m edible.

Oh my god, I never thought I would say this, but my new challenge in this experiment, not eating myself.

Please send help. I-I need help…

My report on today: Please… I need help.

January 5. 1999

If it wasn’t for this journal, I would have no idea what day it was because the only things I know are hunger, pain, writing, and dehydration

Let’s start off with this day that I’ve had. Well, I fell again, I tripped over myself and fell on my arm. Let’s just say that I think my left wrist is shattered. Thank god I’m a righty. However, when I fell, I’m pretty sure that I made my concussion worse, I didn’t think my head could hurt any more than it did before but oh my lord does it hurt now. It was just throbbing before, now it’s throbbing, burning, stinging. It hurts so much I’m not sure how much longer I can put up with this. The only noise I listen to know is my stomach, I no longer watch the television. Everyone just seems so happy on those shows, but I’m not happy now. I’m the opposite. I’m miserable.

I’m done writing for tonight, I really am. I don’t even want to write a report on this day but I have to.

My report on today: I can’t take this much longer.

January 6, 1999

I broke.

My report on today: I’m done.

January 6, 1999

I’m sorry that I gave you one sentence but that sums up my day…

I most definitely know that my left wrist is shattered. Whenever I move it I can hear my bones, I’m almost positive that’s not supposed to happen. Maybe the noise is in my mind? Maybe this situation isn’t real, maybe it’s just a dream? Oh who am I kidding, if this were a dream I wouldn’t be in this much pain, with my head the same way it was yesterday and my left wrist shattered, I hate this.

I know I’m not allowed to look back at any of my other prompts, did I write that rule? I’m not even sure in all honesty. Well if I didn’t write it, there’s a rule I’ve been following this whole time. I really want to know how I was the first day I started this. If I was happy I was doing this. I can’t believe I talked myself into this.

My wrist hurts like hell and so does my head but now it’s mainly my wrist. I don’t know if I can take this pain much longer…

I know one thing for sure, if my hand gets any worse, I’m chopping it off and eating it…

My report on today: Please make it stop…

January 7, 1999

I did it.

I couldn’t take this pain in my wrist any more. I chopped it off.

There is an internal debate going on now on weather I should eat this or not. All I know right now, blood is draining fast, I mean I tied a shirt around my limb but that won’t do much in terms of stopping the bleeding.

My throat was so dry and looking at the blood that was on my hand, I just wanted to try a little bit.

Wow- I’m not sure if I should feel relieved that my throat isn’t as dry as it was or I should be throwing up. I tasted a little bit of the blood, I honestly feel disturbed. Why would I do that?! It didn’t taste good at all, in fact it tasted a little bit like metal. I’m getting the chills just thinking about this again, thinking about what I just did. I feel a little faint but I mean who wouldn’t after they drank their own blood. Or maybe I feel faint because I’m losing blood, I-I hope not, I need to finish the experime-

December 6, 2004

So I was exploring this ghost town and I came across a hotel, the one I’m in actually. Yeah I know it’s a weird story but it makes sense if you knew me in real life not just from reading it in a journal.

Anyway, I was looking through rooms and I came across this one. I was quite disturbed when I walked in because I saw a man’s skeleton with his hand cut off.

As I read this journal I became a little curious myself as to this experiment. I think I’ll try it for myself…

Diary of a Starving Person

Abigail Maynard, 2019