January 1st. 1999
Now I have rules to this experiment:
-Any drinks are allowed, besides smoothies, shakes, or anything filling like that.
-And I MUST record in this everyday with everything I have done, just for that specific
day, however.
Those are the main rules and I thought they should be written down. Oh, and also I am confined in my hotel room. I am allowed to have the windows open, but just for fresh air. The only exception to me leaving my hotel room is going to get a drink from the vending machine, which will most likely be needed.
Would you look at the time! It’s already 11:36 pm. I need to sleep.
My report on today: Successful; no hunger.
January 2nd, 1999
January 2, 1999
January 3, 1999
January 4, 1999
I don’t know why I told myself to do this experiment. Oh god why would I do this to myself? Everything just looks so edible, the bed looks edible, and so does the pillow… And so does my arm, and my leg. I wonder what human meat tastes like…
Dear lord, what am I thinking. I completely locked myself in this room, no drinks, no nothing. I just locked myself in this room, thinking I cut off everything edible, but I forgot one thing. I’m edible.
Oh my god, I never thought I would say this, but my new challenge in this experiment, not eating myself.
Please send help. I-I need help…
January 5. 1999
I’m done writing for tonight, I really am. I don’t even want to write a report on this day but I have to.
My report on today: I can’t take this much longer.
January 6, 1999
I broke.
My report on today: I’m done.
January 6, 1999
I’m sorry that I gave you one sentence but that sums up my day…
I most definitely know that my left wrist is shattered. Whenever I move it I can hear my bones, I’m almost positive that’s not supposed to happen. Maybe the noise is in my mind? Maybe this situation isn’t real, maybe it’s just a dream? Oh who am I kidding, if this were a dream I wouldn’t be in this much pain, with my head the same way it was yesterday and my left wrist shattered, I hate this.
I know I’m not allowed to look back at any of my other prompts, did I write that rule? I’m not even sure in all honesty. Well if I didn’t write it, there’s a rule I’ve been following this whole time. I really want to know how I was the first day I started this. If I was happy I was doing this. I can’t believe I talked myself into this.
My wrist hurts like hell and so does my head but now it’s mainly my wrist. I don’t know if I can take this pain much longer…
I know one thing for sure, if my hand gets any worse, I’m chopping it off and eating it…
My report on today: Please make it stop…
January 7, 1999
I did it.
I couldn’t take this pain in my wrist any more. I chopped it off.
There is an internal debate going on now on weather I should eat this or not. All I know right now, blood is draining fast, I mean I tied a shirt around my limb but that won’t do much in terms of stopping the bleeding.
My throat was so dry and looking at the blood that was on my hand, I just wanted to try a little bit.
Wow- I’m not sure if I should feel relieved that my throat isn’t as dry as it was or I should be throwing up. I tasted a little bit of the blood, I honestly feel disturbed. Why would I do that?! It didn’t taste good at all, in fact it tasted a little bit like metal. I’m getting the chills just thinking about this again, thinking about what I just did. I feel a little faint but I mean who wouldn’t after they drank their own blood. Or maybe I feel faint because I’m losing blood, I-I hope not, I need to finish the experime-
December 6, 2004
So I was exploring this ghost town and I came across a hotel, the one I’m in actually. Yeah I know it’s a weird story but it makes sense if you knew me in real life not just from reading it in a journal.
Anyway, I was looking through rooms and I came across this one. I was quite disturbed when I walked in because I saw a man’s skeleton with his hand cut off.
As I read this journal I became a little curious myself as to this experiment. I think I’ll try it for myself…
Diary of a Starving Person
Abigail Maynard, 2019