THE QUESTIONNAIRE OF PARTICIPANT B( COMPLETED 01 / 12 / 2016):“ 1. I ' m female.
2. I worship more than one Daedric Prince, independently from non-Daedric deities. Currently I fully worship 4, but I do the odd devotional act specifically for some other Princes once in a while.
3. I ' ve been worshipping roughly a year now.
4. Molag Bal means to me, mostly defence. Hard to explain, but that ' s just the feeling I get around Him. ' Be on your guard!' And that feeling has always cropped up around Him when I need it most. Molag Bal ' s main sphere is Domination, and I feel He wants me to dominate myself. Kind of like self-love but a bit more forceful and aggressive; self-love is a hand on the shoulder saying if a task is really bothering you( like house cleaning for example), you can leave it until you ' re in a better state, whereas self-dominance is a kick up the butt and a harsh but true reminder that it ' ll only get worse if you don ' t do it now. Why He of all the Princes wants me to be self-dominant( He doesn ' t want others to dominate for Him, He wants to dominate ALL, so I don ' t buy that line Harkon gives about sacrificing a thousand innocents), I have no idea and probably never will. Maybe it ' s truly for my own benefit, as I know I ' m a bit of a shrinking wallflower and a bit of a doormat, but maybe He ' s also preparing me to be more satisfyingly broken down. A regular person can be dominated by Him with no problem, but someone who ' s self-dominant and reliant on themself and can shrug off attempts by others to dominate them( bullying in school or the workplace, power play by bosses and authority figures, etc) is much harder for Him to dominate, and far more satisfying when they ' re finally broken down at his feet. Currently I don ' t care if Molag Bal is setting me up to be almost an ego boost of sorts, as He ' s already made me far stronger as a person than I was before.
Nocturnal is a comforting figure for me. She expects a lot of me- not in worship, but otherwise- but knows sometimes I can ' t quite reach her standards and that ' s ok. She won ' t get mad at me. That ' s why She provides such darkness for me, and why I feel such comfort in the darkness. That ' s where She wants me to be, so She makes it appealing so that I stay there more. Why She wants me there, I don ' t know, but She does. When in Her darkness, I feel like I ' m coming home. Like I belong there, with Her but also alone in the good way. Nocturnal allows me a place and time for solace, and for whatever I choose during the midnight hours.
Sheogorath: Sheogorath is tricky for me. There are times when I love Him, and thank Him for being around me, but most of the time I can ' t stand Him in the slightest as it feels like I ' ve