A Steampunk Guide to Hunting Monsters 2 | Page 6

parts , I assume all conversations run typically very declarative rather than interrogative .
While the monster hunters go in one direction , Missus Mister has asked me to go on another mission , which is more suited for a lady of my refinements , to find a local expert on monsters who lives in a cottage situated down a certain lane — the name was very European , and I cannot recall it now .
Thursday , May the Thirteenth
As I left the village to find this expert , upon a most handsome steed , down this unnamed road , I happened to find Mr . Longville wandering about . " Missus Dashwood ," he would call me ! He is most mercilessly amiss , and misses that I am not a Missus on every encounter . I am a miss , whether he wants me to be or not , not some middle-aged frump of a housewife , shackled to her husband and children and kitchen stove . No .
But I told him of my destination , and he insisted upon accompanying me to guide the horse and lecture me on his recent discoveries .
" Animals ’ bones are frequently used in handicrafts in this region ," Mr . Longville began , and he continued in this manner most tirelessly for the duration .
The mysterious lane led through a dreary , ancient wood , and I soon found myself almost glad for his company . An old woman stepped out onto the path a distance ahead of us , dragging a large bag behind . I cannot comment upon what was in those bags , only to say that after Mr . Longville ' s speech about uses for bones ...
The path through the forest opened out into a meadow , and only some short trot off the path ended in front of a misshapen cottage . The old woman was just dragging her bag through the front door . She closed it without glancing behind . “ Here , at last , must be the old monster expert we have been looking for !” I said .
The little house was most awkwardly placed ; the path seemed to be aimed towards some broken railing on the left , and one had to leave the path and take three steps through a patch of thistle-grass in order to reach the porch .
I lifted my hand to raise the knocker , and Mr . Longville called out , “ Hello ? Is anyone home ?”
The old woman inside heard us and bade us enter .
It was dark inside , and the looming shapes of furniture , stacked pans , and cloistered knick-knacks made me fearful that we should start some terrible avalanche of belongings .
The old woman sat in the far corner . Her features seemed abnormally large , and her skin bone-white , and I could not control the horror that rose inside me as the old woman turned her head , very slowly , in my direction . The lines of her face were so pronounced , her skin so unnaturally white ... it was as though she was carved out of bone . This was no old woman . This was a witch ... a witch wearing a very sinister mask .
I knew it was not safe to ask questions , but Mr . Longville had no such compunctions .
“ Do you mind if we come in ? We ’ re looking for a monster who is abducting children . Have you seen a monster during the night ?”
A long , slow shiver passed through the old woman ' s shoulders , and I laid my hand on Mr . Longville ' s arm , intending it as a quieting gesture .
I said , " We are told you are an expert on monsters , and we come seeking your help . With your extensive knowledge of this area , we hope you will be able to give us any advice or information on the many local children who have been taken in the night ."