Hope, this is where it all begins…
Dear Tess,
Well I kind of hate to admit this, but you were right. For the first time in a long, long time I feel as if there
is hope. I will try to remember all she told me—and there is a lot of information. She also said that it was not
her place to make me talk about anything. She said that I will know when the time is right to talk about my
experiences. She is doing all she can to earn my trust.
She wants to show me that she does know what she is talking about and that she does care. Why she cares,
I’ll never know. Maybe she doesn’t know either. At first I thought, how can this lady have a clue about war and
trauma? I don’t know the answer to that question either, but she knows a great deal!
Let me share some of the first things she said. She said that I certainly have Post-traumatic Stress. I have
been to combat. I have witnessed events that were a threat to my life and to the lives of others. The very
integrity of my life, of our lives, has been torn to shreds. Just like you have been saying all along, our very
lives have been torn into pieces, into fragments. There are whole portions of my life that have not been
integrated into the rest of my life. I don’t know how I am supposed to become whole again, but I do have hope
that this can happen, at least to a good extent.