ENTERTAINMENT
Ask The Expert : Wedding Speeches
Heidi Ellert-McDermott is a Wedding Speechwriter and the founder of Speechy , a speech writing service . Here , she gives her expert advice on nailing the perfect speech
What is it many couples struggle with when it comes to writing speeches ?
Most couples struggle with two things : where to start and how to finish . It ’ s the classic blank-page panic at the beginning , followed by “ How do I wrap this up ?” at the end . But once they understand that a great speech is just about telling a good story – their story – it becomes much easier . The trick is to focus on being heartfelt and authentic , rather than ticking off a checklist of thank-yous .
The biggest mistake people make is falling into the trap of generic content . Starting a speech with “ For those of you who don ’ t know me , my name is ...” isn ’ t just dull , it ’ s redundant . Everyone already knows who you are ! Similarly , clichéd lines like “ You ’ ve made me a better man ” or “ Today I ’ m losing a daughter but gaining a son ” have been heard a thousand times before . Your speech should reflect you and your relationship with the couple – not sound like it ’ s been copied and pasted from the internet .
What are the key things a wedding speech needs to be a hit ?
Humour , heart , and brevity . You want your speech to make people laugh , make them cry ( happy tears , obviously ), and then leave them wanting more . No one ever complains that a speech was too short .
But it ’ s important to remember that not all humour is created equal . Generic gags and borrowed jokes rarely land well . For example , lines like “ Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right , and the other is the husband ” feel tired and uninspired .
The Speechy team are TV scriptwriters and comedians by trade , but you don ’ t need to be a comic to make people smile .
Personal anecdotes and observations are all you need . What makes your partner truly unique ? Why are they a bit odd ? Are they the only other person in the world who colour codes their socks and loves the History Channel as much as you ? A great speech needs to sound personal – moments that only you can talk about . If a line of your speech could be read by someone else , well , it shouldn ’ t be in there . It ’ s just wedding waffle and it ’ s cutting into your crucial word count !
How long should a speech be ? About eight minutes is the sweet spot . Think of it like a good rom-com : it needs to hold your audience ’ s attention without dragging on too long . If it ’ s shorter than five minutes , it might feel rushed or lack depth . Ten minutes is the maximum duration we recommend ( allowing for laughter and ad libs ). Remember , it ’ s a wedding speech , not a TED Talk !
What do you wish more people knew about wedding speeches ?
That you don ’ t have to be a natural comedian or a seasoned public speaker to give a great speech . It ’ s about honesty , not performance . People remember speeches that come from the heart , not the ones that feel rehearsed to death or stuffed with clichés . We also wish more people knew that thank-yous don ’ t have to be boring ! Instead of rattling off a list of names , make it more meaningful . For example , instead of saying , “ Thank you to my parents for everything they ’ ve done for me ,” share a specific memory or story that illustrates your gratitude . It ’ s the personal touches that make speeches stand out . Cut the cliches and add in some heart and humour !
What wedding speech trends are out , and which are you seeing more of ?
Out : the old-fashioned “ father does the sentiment , groom does the thank-yous , best man roasts the groom ” format . In : couples are breaking tradition and having joint speeches , or inviting other important people – like mums , siblings , or even children – to speak . It ’ s about creating moments that are unique and memorable . We ’ re also working with more people who want to deliver their own personal wedding vows ; something we helped Radio 2 ’ s Scott Mills and his husband Sam write for their wedding last year !
How about the most unusual wedding speech request you ’ ve ever had ?
One groom wanted to perform his entire speech as a rap , complete with backing dancers . We ’ ve had requests for rhyming speeches , one where the two mums delivered a joint speech , a speech that incorporated magic tricks , and even one where the bride presented her husband with a fancy coffee machine ( long story !). People are getting more creative , and we love it !
Heidi is the founder of www . speechy . com , a wedding speechwriting service , and author of The Modern Couple ’ s Guide to Wedding Speeches .
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