#9 v3 | Page 23

Remember When (Part 3) ended up at a Columbian jewellery salesman’s house at South Stanley with none other than the bandy legged Tino Asprilla! We watched his hat-trick against Barcelona on a giant TV and drank white wine out of little green plastic cups. Derby Day Memories My relationship at the time was in the middle of a sticky patch: ‘pet why don’t you come through to Newcastle after the game and Love them or hate them there is no getting meet up with me, then we can grab away from the impact a derby victory or defeat can have on your season.......and life. something to eat and watch Purely Belta at The following are some of my random derby the pictures’ At the game Gary Speed put us day experiences from over the years. ahead early doors everybody was happy but Sunday 4th February 1990 Don Bloody Hutchinson and rat-boy Philips This was my first ever Tyne-Wear scored for the Mackem’s. High drama in the derby at St James Park having already stands as we were awarded a last minute attended the boring 0-0 draw at Roker the penalty. Shearer only went and missed the previous September. In a game spoilt by high flipping thing and we lost 2-1 again I was winds Newcastle was 1-0 down to a goal furious. I met my girlfriend in the agreed from the stumpy ice cream salesman Marco place after the game and was still furious. Gabbiadini. As the game wore on we looked I said I was too angry to go and sit in like heading for defeat. I made a pact that if the pictures and watch Purely Belta and Newcastle equalised demanded she took me home. We went home I would go to school the following I was still furious. The relationship sadly day without putting any hair jell on. Now for didn’t last much longer! a fashion conscious and vain bastard 16 year old this was the ultimate sacrifice. Newcastle Sunday 29th March 1991 eventually forced home an equaliser from the I was coming to the end of my 2 gurning Mark McGhee with 13 minutes to year YTS (apprenticeship in old money) and go. As agreed I didn’t wear hair gel the next cash was very tight. For one reason or day. another the lads didn’t get a ticket for this all ticket match. I was working as a I didn’t go to school either! subcontractor to the council on roadside trees on the AI67 at Durham and as the week wore Saturday 18th November 2000 on I wish I’d bought a ticket for the game. The previous year’s derby had the On the Friday one of the council lads said he Toon lose 2-1 against Sunderland on a couldn’t go to the game and would I like to torrentially rainy wet Tyneside night. It was buy his ticket. ‘Wey hell aye’. The only minging. problem was it was a seat ticket in the East Ruud Gullit our manager at the time Stand for the canny hefty sum of 8 quid. was as mad as a coconut he shaved off all his Match fever had got to me and £8 was bodily hair and dropped Shearer to the subs peanuts, I had to go. The East Stand back in bench and said this wasn’t even a proper the day was for posh people and the end of derby game. We lost 2-1 and the rain the East Stand next to The Leazes was wreaked the last leather jacket I ever owned. usually full of nothing but empty grey seats. Gullit walked the plank and Sir Bobby Today it was full.A canny scrappy game moved into the manager’s office. Skip burst into life when Ned Kelly scored the forward the following season and Shearer game’s only goal. I jumped up and shout ‘get had to put right some nasty wrongs. This was in ya fucker’. Nobody else did. I was the game we would have our revenge. surrounded by stony faced mackems. A I got quite drunk that day. member of her majesty’s constabulary rushed over and told me to ‘sit down and shut up’I did.The fact that the kid from the council who I bought the ticket off was a mackem completely passed me by. Wednesday 16th May 1990 It was the 2nd leg of the playoff semi final with the scores locked at 0.0 from the first leg at Joker Park. This was thanks to Budgie Burridge’s last minute penalty save in front of the Fulwell End. Anyway Friday Sunday 16th January 2011 4th May had me play the nick from school An away game at Sunderland I and stupidly break my right arm after didn’t go to the match; instead I watched it playing football with some of my silly down The Villa Club. For some silly reason friends. I was taken to hospital put to sleep I ended up in a round with my mate Speedy. and fixed up with a heavy plaster cast.FastA scrappy game in the wind Nolan forward to the night of the match and it scored for us early in the second half to put lashed down with rain and I got wet. us 1-0 up and he did the chicken dance. I Newcastle played really badly and sadly for laughed, a magpie landed on the Stadium of me Sunderland won 2.0 with goals from Shite pitch and he also laughed. Gabbiadini the ice cream salesman and Four minutes into injury time some Skeletor‘s ugly brother ‘Wee’ Eric Gates. It gadgie called Gyan scored for the mackems. rained some more, and then there were two The mackems ran on the pitch as usual, the pit