30
JOE ALLON
COLUMN
WORDS//@LITTLEJOEALLON
Well, well, well, where do I start about NUFC?
Although I enjoyed most of last season my dad will
disagree (I’m not allowed to say what he thought ha
ha). My favourites were the Chelsea game at home,
as well as Southampton at home. Though I’ve never
been more upset than getting beat off the unwashed
3-0 at home in my first ever derby day, think I
carried my dad home that day.
As for transfers I thought the players we got in January
should have been bought earlier in the summer, all those
European games and injuries took its toll on a thin squad
even more so when we sold Ba, which upset me a bit as
he was my favourite player at the time. Then fatty came
up trumps in January with the players to just get us over
the line.
Let’s get started on Cisse. What’s he bloody playing at?
I’m not happy about Wonga, but if I earned as much as
him a week I would wear a mackem top. Even though
I hate the cheesy chip eating scum ha ha. Who is Joe
Kinnear? My dad tried to tell me but I still don’t know
who he is? He’s just a joker and a liar as far as I can see.
I thought the whole Yohan Kebabs thing was funny. Let’s
see if he can get us the strikers we need, which I doubt
but ya never know. He reckons he’s the dog’s bollocks I
bet he was Kate Middleton’s midwife. Sure I’ve seen him
there on the telly. As for Mick Harford,
I don’t think my dad was born when he played for the
Toon, so glad he knocked us back. Let’s hope these clowns
get us the players we need to have a good season and
fingers crossed.
I just want to thank Steve Wraith for letting me do this
and wish Pardew and the players all the best for the new
season, I can’t wait .You can also catch me in the NO9
before every home game and follow me on twitter @
littlejoeallon, thanks Little Joe Allon.
TOON TOON FTM
Cisse finally
pulled on a
Wonga shirt
TWITTER//@LITTLEJOEALLON
DEJA VU?
31
?UV AJED
THE LITTLE
WORDS//DAVEY BROWN
Deja vu? Well, although the lack
of transfer activitiy at St James’
Park is very similar to last year,
it is actually much worse and
more worrying this time around
because we now have a true
clown to complete the circus.
Joan, I mean Joe, Kinnear, could
cause trouble in an empty house and
his radio interview defied belief. One
of his first acts was to stop the well
advanced transfer of international
defender Douglas who we were
about to get for nowt. No, I can’t
figure that one out either! Especially
when a free transfer is right up
Ashley’s street and the club spent a
lot of time and money tracking and
monitoring this player. Then Kinnear
shoots off on holiday after telling the
world we’d have a new striker in by
Friday. That was Friday, July 12th.
I am writing this on Monday, July
29th, but there’s still no sign of that
striker. Maybe Joe lost him on his
way through customs or the player
is on the luggage carousel waiting to
be claimed?
At the time of writing, the failure/
refusal to bring in much - needed
reinforcements to the playing staff
has alarm bells ringing in many a
fan’s ears. Rumours persist about
Ashley and the now departed
Llambias claiming that the
players they bought in January
were in fact the Summer
signings brought forward. I’ll
tell wor lass that the shoes I
bought her in May were actually
her Christmas present. I’d deserve
a slap for that. And so do these
fools for thinking they can palm us
off with any old shite as and when
it suits them. The St James’ Park’
transfer window script is now very
boring and predictable.’We tried but
just couldn’t get him over the line’,
‘There wasn’t enough time’, etc, etc.
If they’re not going to buy anyone,
at least spare us the indignity of the
post - transfer window patronising
and the insults to our intelligence.
We wouldn’t want anyone becoming
cynical and thinking Mike Ashley
gets his kicks out of winding us up
now would we?
Which brings me to Alan Pardew.
The purveyor of many a statement
akin to the aforementioned tried
and tested excuses. And despite
being a man who likes to have his
say, his silence was deafening after
the appointment of Kinnear. Why?
Maybe he was keeping a dignified
silence? That would be admirable if
it was the case as the vast majority
of people would lose it if an idiot
like Kinnear came in and instantly
undermined their job. Or maybe
he had his orders to keep his own
counsel? Either way, it added fuel
to an already wild fire in the form
of frenzied speculation regarding
Pardew’s job. The most popular, yet
most feared opinion/theory, is that
Kinnear is hovering like a starving
vulture waiting for Pardew to jump
or even be pushed. Time will tell.
Pardew has often been labelled a
puppet with Mike Ashley pulling his
strings. He tells us he is very much
his own man but he’s never sounded
convincing. Some of his comments
sound like he’s reading from the
Mike Ashley handbook and some are
just bizarre. At the end of last season
he rambled on about ‘big offers’,
‘hard to turn down’ and other thinly
veiled invites to the likes of PSG to
get their wallets opened. ‘This is a
big season for Adam Campbell’
was another. Was that said in
case we don’t get a new striker
in or because we’re NOT
getting a new striker in?
For someone who claims
to be his own man, he
doesn’t do himself any
favours with
CONTINUED
statements like
these. I was
32
ENTE
DOUGLAS - FC TW
FREE