55+ Living Guide Spring 2014 | Page 37

Adult Care What Part of the Equation are You? Choices Are you, or is someone you know worried about your aging loved ones? By Clare Colamaria, Founder of A Seniors Choice Online It is one thing to be thrown into crisis mode and forced to make quick decisions on unstudied facts because of sudden illness or tragic mishaps of a senior loved one, but it is a totally different situation and feeling to observe the changes of our loved ones over time. Some of our elders are well aware of their gradual decline and are faced with fears, worries and stresses. One of which is for them to actually admit and discuss thoughts: “I shouldn’t share my fears and worries with my children or caregivers because I do not want to burden them; they have their own lives and concerns. I don’t want to be more trouble for them.” I hear this a great deal from my clients. This thought process can be dangerous. This type of thought pattern is an obstacle for protecting themselves and the ones they love. I would encourage you, if you are a senior, to let your loved ones know your concerns, worries or fears. It will allow them to help you in areas of importance such as your safety, continuing your independence as long as possible, downsizing if that is your wish, securing your finances and your estate. When lines of communication are open everyone involved will be in a more stable emotional position, which in turn will allow for the proper choices to be made in securing a comfortable and safe lifestyle for you. On the other hand, some of our elders are unaware of their decline due to disease which affects their memory or their ability to make informed and rational decisions. In cases such as these, loved ones must become involves and take the initiative to explore safety, finances and estate planning for their senior loved one. It is best to seek professional assistance in these very personal matters. Then there are the cases where decline is evident to everyone except the senior loved one. It could be because they mentally still feel 25 years old and they continue to push themselves to unrealistic goals or because they are flat out in denial that they may need some form of assistance. Or, perhaps they feel that if they admit to needing assistance, their loved ones and/or caregivers will barge in and take over completely, leaving them with no say in the mat ѕȁ