55+ Living Guide Magazine Spring/Summer 2018 Spring 2018 | Page 38
WHAT I WISH
I KNEW THEN
by Alison Michael
Ten years ago, I was faced with moving mom and dad up
to the NY Capital Region from NJ where they had been
lifelong residents. Both in their mid-70’s at that time,
they were living in their home of over 45 years that they
cherished, but had outgrown. With a brother out in Long
Island, they chose to make the move to the Capital Region
to be closer to my husband and I, but more importantly
to their newly born grandson.
With over 200 miles and a very pregnant belly between
us, it made it impossible for me to help them in the
capacity I would have liked. At that time, mom was still
working, making much free time hard to find and while
dad tried his best to sort through, declutter, organize and
pack up their accumulated life’s possessions, he fell short
with no real plan.
The emotional toll that fell on them with the anticipation
of their moving day far surpassed anything I could have
imagined. I’ll never forget speaking with my dad the day
before the move. When I asked him if they were ready, he
replied that mom had still not touched the kitchen. It really
become apparent to me that they weren’t ready for the
move but it was too late turn back now.
They were both paralyzed in fear of the unknown and
a loss of control. Packing up a home they had moved in
together in 1958 and raised their family was too much for
them. It was emotionally & physically draining. Where to
begin? What will we do with the stuff we’re not taking?
What do we want to take? How will it fit into our much
smaller apartment we’re moving into? Everywhere they
turned was a memory, an emotional attachment.
I wish I knew then that there are professionals that,
for a fee, can assist with the stages of moving to ease the
transition. Hiring a professional like this would have
made the transition much smoother and helped ease the
emotional toll it took on all of us, but mostly mom and dad.
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