50 Years of Umko 1966 - 2016 1966 - 2016 | Page 37

boat. “Paddle Brian” I shouted. “Look at all those orchids up there!” came
the reply followed by a string of botanical names. Initially I was irritated
by this. Hell, we were in a race! Later it dawned on me that we were not
going to win the race and that Brian had the right approach. In my many
passages down the river in later years, I always took time out to soak up the
magnificent scenery around me, often just drifting along in the pools below
the cliff faces.”
Speaking of good people, Rowan Rasmussen paid tribute to three pioneers.
Four, really:

Rob Davey adds more discreetly: “For those that don’t know the Lido,
the function room was downstairs with a large window looking into the
swimming pool below water level. Some time during the evening two naked
bodies appeared on the other side of the window causing much hilarity and
a scramble by management to get them out of the pool. Without giving
anything away lets just call them both Trevor.”

Other prize-giving venues over the years:

Plaza Hotel, Beachfront Restaurant in Umkomaas village, ‘Toti Town Hall,
Westville Hotel, Umbogintwini Club, Richmond Country Club

I have often said that the three most significant developments in SA canoeing
centred around three personalities (four, really):

• Charlie Mason - He planned and administered and drove the whole
canoeing scene once the early pioneers faded;

• Paul Chalupsky

- He introduced the ungentlemanly and weird
concept of training - without which we would all still be paddling in
short-sleeved khaki shirts and scout hats with leopard skin hat bands. I
think he also called a canoe a kayak!

• Gordie Rowe - He ushered in the era of professional boat-building by

drawing on his own experience and by working with old man ‘Papa’
Chalupsky with his sense of German Precision. They lived close to each
other in Westville. I used to envy Paul his superbly-built craft that he
could simply clean down and hang up for use in the next race. The rest
of us were constantly rebuilding, patching or starting from scratch with
little time to train. Gordie’s enterprise meant that anyone with R150
could buy a perfect ready-made craft. How many canoeists these days
would care to have the ancient skills needed to build their own boats?
(Rowan tells of those “ancient skills” at the end of chapter six).

Prize-Giving Functions

The Lido Hotel in the village of Umkomaas was often the venue. The pool
area was visible through full-length windows from the restaurant and
innocent patrons were regularly treated to some skinny dipping by exuberant
paddlers, thoroughly rehydrated on the sponsors’ brew, including a full
frontal that McSlayed the ladies and an eyeful of a famous rear which could
have won an Oscar. The tradition of uproarious prize-giving functions has
continued over the years . . . .
Robbie Stewart recalls “the classic moment when I met an irate wife
storming out of the Pub. What had happened is the boys were skinny dipping
and you could only
see the bottom half
of them from the
function area. The
ladies were having
a drink and one said
“Look there’s your
husband!”. The irate
wife took one look
and said “HOW
DO YOU KNOW?!”
Well, he WAS wellendowed, but I think
it was his freckly legs
that gave him away.”

37

Stalwarts

These 18 people have done more than half the total Umkos to date!
Name

Completed

Charles Mason

48

Rob Bourne-lange

41

Rob Davey

37

Dave Biggs

35

Guy Haines

32

Mark Perrow

32

Richard Starr

32

Chris Watts

32

Mike Frizelle

31

Tim Platt

30

Colin Simpkins

30

Hugh Raw

29

Meyer Steyn

29

David Gillmer

28

Graeme Pope-Ellis

27

Tony Botes

26

Owen Hemingway

26

Ken Reynolds

25

Another 171 paddlers have done ten
or more, earning them race numbers
in perpetuity.
PLUS: One thousand four hundred
and ninety three paddlers have done
ONLY ONE Umko - thus escaping
“Charlie’s Berg Rule of Certifiability!”
A total of two thousand nine hundred
and fifty seven lucky people have the
privilege of completing this special
race in the forty nine years it has been
run.
Meyer Steyn’s 29 were all done as a
temporary migrant from behind the
boerewors curtain. All the rest are
KZN men (or have done at least some
UMKOs while living in KZN).

UMKO 50 Years