21MAGAZINE January 2017 | Page 18

Waiting for dawn

Waiting for dawn

By Evangeline Anon
Victims of sexual abuse are 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide and 3 times more likely to suffer from depression . Every 2 minutes someone in America is sexually assaulted . 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before age 18 . Elizabeth Smart , the victim of one of the most famous child abduction cases in the 21st century , said , “ when you are faced with a trial , don ’ t give up , don ’ t surrender , move forward , because you never know what you will be able to do with it , you never know the lives you will be able to touch ,” so here is my story :
The abuse started before I could even remember , during a time in my life when I was too innocent to understand what was actually happening . It was a part of
my childhood , even in my earliest memories ... and as a young girl , the abuse conditioned me not to fight off any sexual advances . I blamed myself . I felt it was my fault .
One night before Thanksgiving , I was sleeping over at my friend ’ s house . I found myself screaming inwardly “ NO !”, as he took away the last ounce of dignity I had left . I realize now that I should ’ ve screamed , pushed him away , made it known that this was not okay , but again I couldn ’ t . Like always , I froze . I was thirteen ... he was twenty-one . After that , I hated myself for allowing others to hurt me . I became the bystander to the crimes committed against my body , my own worst enemy . I was broken .
As a teenager , I became extremely depressed . One day , I

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