JFS Monthly Volunteers & Donors- Month of July 2025
JFS Monthly Tributes Month of July 2025
The Charlotte Jewish News- September 2025- Page 30
From Stress to Support: Celebrating the High Holidays Through a Neurodivergent Lens
By: Howard Olshansky, JFS Executive Director
As the High Holidays approach, Jewish families begin preparing for the most special time of year in Jewish culture. We anticipate gathering with family we might not often see, planning special meals, attending High Holiday services, and, in some cases, traveling to be with extended family. For many, all this planning can be stressful. However, for a family with a child or adult on the autism spectrum, preparing for the holidays is much more than just a heightened level of stress.
Let’ s start by understanding the scope of the issue. Autism Spectrum Disorder( ASD) is increasingly recognized: in the United States, 1 in 31 children— about 3.2 percent— were identified to have ASD by age 8.
Extrapolating to the adult population, approximately 5.4 million U. S. adults— or around 2.2 percent— live with autism. Globally, the estimated prevalence is roughly 1 in 100 children, though some newer estimates suggest closer to 1 in 127 individuals or about 61.8 million people worldwide. Given these figures, it’ s likely many families will share the holidays with someone on the spectrum— making preparedness and empathy important.
When a loved one is on the autism spectrum, holidays can bring multiple challenges, especially given sensory sensitivities, disrupted routines, and social expectations. Understanding these dynamics is key to crafting a more inclusive, supportive holiday experience. Key Challenges 1. Disruption of Routine: Autistic individuals often depend on predictability. Holidays naturally interrupt daily structure— travel, staying at different homes, altered sleep and meal schedules— all of which may trigger stress or behavioral challenges.
2. Sensory Overload & Environmental Stressors
Crowded gatherings, loud music, festive lights, diverse foods, and ambient smells can overwhelm someone with sensory sensitivities. This is especially relevant if you are planning to attend services.
3. Social Expectations & Communication Strain
Holiday gatherings often come with intense social interaction: small talk, group conversations, mingling with distant relatives, and more. People with ASD may struggle to participate or may disengage completely.
4. Fraying Family Dynamics & Fatigue
Caregivers may face emotional and physical tolls during holidays, especially when attempting to balance everyone’ s needs. Siblings may feel overlooked; parents may struggle to juggle specialized support alongside holiday tasks.
Strategies for a Smoother High Holiday Experience
1. Prep With Visuals and Predictability:
Share images of the holiday location or attendees. Use calendars, timers, or checklists to communicate what’ s coming next. Visiting a new venue beforehand, viewing pictures or maps, or identifying quiet spaces can provide predictability and reduce anxiety.
2. Create Sensory-Friendly Spaces:
Identify or designate quiet zones in the event space. Packing a“ sensory survival kit”— noise-reducing headphones, familiar snacks, fidget toys, or sunglasses— offers immediate relief.
3. Set Clear Expectations with Guests:
Brief visitors gently about sensory needs or communication styles. Ask relatives to avoid surprises and respect schedules. It helps to carve out breaks— moments of downtime or exits to calm spaces. Offering advance notice about who will be there, along with clear expectations(“ We’ ll have a meal, share gifts, then watch a movie.”), allows better emotional preparation.
4. Offer Choices and Autonomy:
Building in individual time for everyone— quiet breaks, one-onone attention, rotating responsibilities— can help reduce burnout and maintain connection. Let your loved one control pacing: rest first, socialize later. Allow them to choose meal order or skip certain activities if uncomfortable.
Look to balance traditions with flexibility. Stick to core routines when possible, but be ready to adapt. Prioritize meaningful parts of the celebration and let
go of others.
Managing holidays with an autistic loved one is more than logistical planning— it’ s an act of inclusion and love. By holding space for their sensory, communication, and emotional needs, the experience becomes richer for everyone. It models respect for neurodiversity and nurtures deeper family bonds. As the prevalence of ASD continues to rise, more families will engage in this balancing act, making awareness and adaptive practices vital.
The holidays may never be as carefree or spontaneous if you’ re supporting a loved one on the spectrum— but they can be deeply meaningful. With preparation, sensitivity, and open communication, you can craft celebrations that honor everyone’ s comfort and joy. After all, the true gift is connection— shared in ways that make everyone feel included.
Volunteers: Brian Ablitz Jessica Alfandary Marcia Arnholt Mike Arnholt Daniel Benjamin Andrew Bernstein Dan Coblenz Jonathan Collman Andrea Cronson Erica Davison Julie Dermack Elayne DeMaria Joni Deutsch Sheryl Effren Jamie Fram Rachel Friedman Meredith Gartner Marty Goldfarb Blair Goldsmith Richard Goldsmith Joann Goldstein Jennifer Golynsky Gail Halverson Rebecca Hockfield Tara and Liat Hubara Bob Jacobson Jennifer Koss
For a speedy recovery of
Norman Levin Stanley Greenspon Mattye Silverman Paul and Lynn Edelstein
Happy Anniversary
Peter and Judy Slade Stuart and Eleanor Bantit Holly, Andy, Matthew Brian and Tyler Goldstein Elynore Rubin
Happy Birthday
Steve Hockfield David and Beth Thrope Elise Menaker Paul and Lynn Edelstein Marvin Shapiro Paul and Lynn Edelstein
JFS Monthly Volunteers & Donors- Month of July 2025
JFS Monthly Tributes Month of July 2025
Stephanie Kreitman Glenn Kunkes Marcia Lampert Eric Lerner Lisa Levinson Adina Loewensteiner Matt Luftglass Susie Meier Terry Meyers Frada Mozenter Wendy Petricoff Barbara Rein Nina Rose Cindy Siesel Stuart Singer Lisa Somerson Harry Sparks Lauren Stark Lorin Stiefel Steve Teich Nancy Wielunski Amanda Zaidman Jeff Zaleon
Hadassah Meal Preppies: Denise Abadi Gabriel Allen Aileen Greenberg-Kriner
In Honor of
Larry and Dale Polsky Sandra Hamilton Marvin and Anita Shapiro
In Memory of
Barbara Cohen Stuart and Eleanor Bantit Daisy Shapiro-Rieke Jackie, Todd, and Wendy Fishman Ruth Goldberg Susan Grove Jan Rimmel Rich and Jenny Rosenthal The Willaford Family Arnold Zulman Jeffrey Maisels
Engaging • Connecting • Healing
June Hirschmann Paul Hirschmann Penny Krieger Judy Kaufmann Betsy Olinger
Shalom Green: Thank to all Shalom Green volunteers for providing fresh produce to our pantry clients. Special thanks to Lisa Sheritz for gleaning produce for JFS clients
Food Pantry Donations: To our generous community: Thank you for continuing to donate to the food pantry. We continue to collect donations every other Wednesday at the portico entrance to the Blumenthal Center for Jewish Education Building on Shalom Park.