By Rabbi Becca Diamond

One of the things I love most about Judaism is that instead of providing concrete answers, our tradition inspires questions and curiosity. There’ s always more than one opinion on any topic you could imagine, and no topics are off limits. We are a people

who loves wrestling with the big questions of life. We seek out nuance and complexity. The rabbis of the talmud illustrate this culture through the concept of machloket l’ shem shamayim, disagreement for the sake of heaven. Even our name, b’ nei yisrael, emphasizes our need for spiritual exploration. We are named for Ya’ akov, who received the name Yisrael, meaning, one who wrestles with G-d. Indeed, as Jews, we wrestle with the idea of G-d constantly.

At this moment, though, our world feels completely off-balance. It has been nearly two years since October 7, 2023, the day our world was upended and our sense of safety compromised. We have been wrestling with this new era in Jewish history and what the future holds for us. This kind of wrestling brings no joy,

but rather, comes with fear and exhaustion. Furthermore, with the news of widespread hunger in Gaza, we are wrestling with the idea of a Jewish state that does not live up to our ideals. We are left with many questions and few answers on how to reckon with this new set of circumstances.

I have been trying to seek solid ground for the past two years, yet every time I feel like I have nearly found my footing, a new bit of news or a Facebook post sweeps my legs from under me, causing me to rethink any conclusions I’ ve reached. When congregants come to me seeking answers, I truthfully say that I am seeking right alongside them. At least we are seeking together.

As we approach the High Holidays, I begin to recenter myself. It is a time of year when I attempt to do some inner spiritual cleansing

in a process called cheshbon hanefesh, an accounting of the soul. I attempt to look deep inside myself and reconnect with my essence, trying to match the person I am with the person I wish to be. This year, part of this work will be to reckon with this feeling of being unbalanced. But rather than trying to find that solid ground, I will try a new strategy: I will try to make peace with this precarious position. I want to learn to live with unanswered questions.

As we make our High Holiday preparations, the themes of our prayers echo through my mind. I think of the haunting words of untaneh tokef, and the unanswered question of who will live and who will die in the upcoming year. During this holy time, we are at our most vulnerable, our most spiritually exposed. Our

weaknesses and fears come to the surface, and we will not be able to hide from these unanswered questions. This year, let us acknowledge these feelings. Let us make peace with the idea that the world we imagined is not the world we inhabit, and let us share those feelings with one another. If we are to wrestle with these questions, then let us do it together.