Four of us sat outside, me and Zara, and Danny and Ken. I only mention this because Ken is important later.
Me and Zara were the centre of each other’ s focus. She had a natural ability to tell stories, moving her hands like she was trying to use them as shadow puppets. It was when we were jokingly teasing each other about who got to keep a pound coin we found that somehow led into a long, perfect kiss.
It was great. That’ s the only way to describe it. Okay, what happens next may be the reason I rate this particular one so highly, but this kiss, like every kiss, was perfect. And I wouldn’ t change a thing. We walked home together( the group came too) but we held hands the way home which I didn’ t realise was such a good sign until the morning after. I wanted to preserve my drunken confidence and asked her out, like it was nothing, like it was just something I do all the time. And she agreed, she even took my phone and not only added her Instagram for me but wrote in my notes app:“ zaradean insta message me lol.” I can’ t remember what Danny did on the way home, or anything he said to me after my one liner. Part of me wonders if he walked between us holding hands to make it stop, and I was acting too nonchalant to re-hold it.
I just wondered if that happened because of what happened next. In the morning, I was in a very good mood, I finished the 30 Rock episode and was waiting to see any messages from the others. I decided it was too soon to message Zara without looking desperate, so I’ d wait until the next night out before either seeing her again or messaging her if she wasn’ t there. But no message ever came.
Worst still, like my worst hangxiety dream come to life I opened Instagram the following Thursday to see the same group all together in The Dog & Parrot, but without me. The caption on Danny’ s story: NIGHT OUT WITH THE GANG. This was the one thing I didn’ t want to happen. But I wasn’ t going to let my newly found confidence go to waste, and took matters into my own hands. I was always invited to people’ s pre’ s rather than having them myself, so I messaged all the others saying I was having one in my flat and they were all invited to it. None of them came. Well, none of them except Ken, I told you he would be important later. Ken was a good guy. We spent the night in Wetherspoons where I got so drunk I was escorted off the premises by the staff. Did you know Disco Spoons has a special door outside for
15