James Fraser It’ s My Hangxiety
Do you want to play a game? Good. But before we start. One question. Do you ever remember the leaking milk? Or is it just me? No one ever talks about the leaking milk. I had been at university for barely a month. My flatmates were okay, they were nice and chatty, but they would often go out without me and it was getting to the point that their company was no longer their obligation. But I needed company. I needed someone to go out with in the meantime before I could attach myself to a better group. And if anything was going to ruin my chances further it would be the leaking milk.
I got a message in the flat group-chat with a picture of some milk which had dripped all over my flatmate’ s apples. They asked for someone to own up to it. And well, it was only a matter of time before they figured out it was me, so I decided to do the right thing and confessed, cleaning up the milk and replacing the apples. But was that the right thing to do? No one ever messaged me saying‘ klm worries:)’ or even just liking the message. It was dead silence. And that was one of the most stressful days of my life. I still don’ t know if they like me. Does someone ever mention me on a night out and they tell them the story of how awful I am?
I mention this to set the right tone. You’ re going to hear a lot of stories about me in the next few pages, some good and some bad, and I wanted to start off with something that paints me in a good light. And by demonstrating however bad I may have acted in them, the leaky milk incident shows that at the end of the day, I was just too excited to know someone didn’ t hate me.
Today we’ re going to play a game. The game in question( that’ s a good title) is called“ First Kiss, Best Kiss, Worst Kiss” which is descriptive in and of itself. Tell the stories of your first kiss, then your best kiss and then your worst kiss. The winner gets the right to call the stories anecdotes rather than shallow brags. Feel free to play as well, but thankfully for once in my life I have the best excuse for not listening to other people.“ I physically can’ t hear you” is a much better excuse than,“ I wasn’ t listening, I was too busy thinking about Doctor Who.”
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