‘ Not sexy to me ,’ you clarify . Your feet kill , so you move her arm and sit down . She twists her spine to look at you , cardigan slipping from her shoulder . ‘ Surely only a sicko would actually take us up on the invite . I don ’ t want someone else getting anything out of it . I sold my soul for this .’
She looks crestfallen . You fight not to touch her , to pull back her hair , smooth the creases in her forehead with the tip of your finger .
‘ Yeah ,’ she concedes , but bounces quickly back with , “ But they could , like , cut you into pieces and keep them all separate forever and then wouldn ’ t you just stay dead ? That ’ d take the fun out of it , right ?”
‘ Mhm . Maybe something to consider once I ’ ve fully had enough ,” you answer honestly , watching her eyes glaze further over , her lips pinched in discomfort . Seeing this , you add , ‘ Don ’ t worry , El .’ She smiles prematurely . ‘ The only person I ’ d let finish me off is you .’
***
‘ Jesus Christ !’
You come to feeling slack-jawed and really , grotesquely rough . Your eyes are stuck together ; you have to peel them apart by force . Elodie ’ s in the doorway , white as a ghost , her dressing gown loose . ‘ Mm ?’ ‘ Your fucking face ,’ she whispers . You frown , or you think you do , but your jaw really is slack ; it ’ s completely numb , and you can ’ t find purchase on the receptors you typically use to smile , to frown , to grimace , to bite . ‘ Oh , your poor , lovely face .’
She pulls you upright and drops you onto your bed , where you lie paralysed , letting her mumble to herself in consternation .
‘ It ’ ll heal ,’ you try to tell her , whatever it is , because it always does . It ’ s always fine . But it comes out in a gargle , a horrible , rumbling moan . You clear your throat , but don ’ t attempt it again . She ’ s crying over your body .
Later , when she ’ s calmed down , Elodie brings a mirror and holds it up for you . You must have got up for the loo in the night , high on the cocktail you ’ d artfully crafted , hadn ’ t quite died yet but were on your way there . You must have tripped and fallen into the electric heater . You ’ d left it on , because since the canal the cold never left you . You can never get warm enough .
Danse Macabre 24