2 embraced it . She didn ' t judge or pity me ; she accepted me . She asked me , “ Do you know how I know you ’ ve been hurting ?” “ No ,” I said . I knew what she was referring to , but I was too shocked to say anything else . No one had ever said anything or approached me or given me a hug like she had . They all just silently acknowledged it and moved on . She placed her hand over my scars , and she said , “ This . This is how I know .” I almost started to cry . I had never felt recognized like that before . All the pastors and school counselors and motivationalists had only given me a crumb of tenderness compared to the feast of empathy this woman offered me at the drop of a hat . She showed me her own scars as she told me that I was going to be something great . She told me that through pain comes prosperity , and I had endured enough pain for a lifetime . Whatever I wanted to do , she told me I could . Usually , I would have rolled my eyes at something so unbelievably cliche , but when those words came from her mouth , I believed them . I believed them because she wasn ' t some person giving a TED Talk , she wasn ' t someone trying to sell you a product , she was someone who truly saw other people . And most importantly , she was a survivor . This woman was passing down love to those who were going through the same storms she once weathered . It ’ s one thing to have someone who only sees the surface of what you ’ re going through talk to you , but it ’ s something drastically different and uplifting to have someone like her talk to you . Someone who has been on the same level as you , who understands the depths of what you ' re struggling with . She told me her name was Margaret , and she worked at a local University . Margaret gave me her business card , and she wrote her home phone number and personal cell phone number on there . When someone writes their home number on a business card , it might not usually mean a lot , but in that Sally beauty store it was more than a jumble of numbers , it was a promise . She told me to call her- day , night , afternoon , 2 A . M . - it didn ' t matter . She promised me that any time I needed to talk or needed help , she was there . Margaret was a ball of hope that outshone the sun in her soft yellow sweater .
VERA Is that why you sat down with me ? You didn ' t have to , you know .
TONI That ’ s exactly why , and I know I didn ' t have to . I wanted to . I saw you on this park bench , and I saw those scars , and I couldn ' t let myself walk past . I often wonder what would have become of me if I didn ' t enter that Sally ’ s- if Margaret didn ' t enter that Sally ’ s . I won ' t ever know the complete answer to that , but I know I would ' ve continued to go unseen . No one after her ever did anything like that . Now I ' m grown and I feel like it ’ s my responsibility to do that for others . I don ' t ever want anyone else to go unseen , because unseen and hopeless is a terrible thing to be .
VERA It ’ s hard to stop . It ’ s like an addiction that I can ' t let go of , and nobody ever talks about that . Everyone wants to act like it ' s a one and done situation , but I think about it every day . I try so hard not to do it , but it ’ s a fixation that I can ' t shake . No number of prayers or blessings or walks in the park could ever help me , and nobody can seem to comprehend that .
( A pause .) How did you do it ?