The holidays are filled with magic and joy, but they can also be very stressful for a parent of a child with special needs. Here are a few tips to help parents keep their sanity during the holiday season:
Lower your expectations. Whatever you will be celebrating (Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa), there is no such thing as a “perfect” Holiday. Let go of the pursuit of the perfect toy, the perfect dinner, the perfect tree and decorations. Those only exist in movies – not in real life.
Once a day, pause and reflect. Just for a few minutes a day, think about what the Holiday season means for you and your family – the blessings and the positive moments over the year. Even if there are moments that don’t make any sense to anyone
other than you, take it in and be
proud of yourself and your family.
Keep your routine. Many children with special needs require routine, schedules, and predictability. To save your sanity, try and keep consistent routines of your schedule – bed times, dinner, bath times for the kids.
It’s OK to opt out of festivities. Don’t deprive yourself of holiday festivities, but if those events cause disturbances in your child’s behavior or unnecessary frustration and stress on you – it is OK to just say no. And don’t feel bad. It’s OK, really it is.
Have an outlet for yourself.
On the other hand, have an outlet for yourself: If you have excess energy (stop laughing), then load up the kids and take a walk in
the neighborhood or the park.
The outdoors gives us fresh air, Vitamin D, and a new things to look at and talk about.
Get some sleep. Schedule changes can deregulate sleep cycles for both children and adults, so try hard to get at least 6-8 hours of sleep a night.
Try to relax. Let the grandparents take over for a bit so that you can get a little rest. Doesn’t have to be a day at the spa, but whatever can relax and restore you – drinking coffee, walking the beach, listening to music, watching TV – make time for you. Don’t forget that deep breathing, meditation, and yoga are all great ways to decompress. You work so hard – you deserve to relax.
Be proud of YOU. You are more than ‘good enough.’ You are a fantastic parent and you are doing a great job. 365 days a year, you are doing the best you can. Don’t let the Holiday season stress you out. You are doing great. Believe in yourself.
Katherine Driscoll received her Bachelors of Science in Psychology from San Diego State University and her Masters of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy from Alliant International University. She currently works as a Therapist with Palomar Family Counseling Services in San Diego, CA.
tips for managing parent holiday stress