by Jennifer Bush
Although Hanukkah has relatively minor religious significance, the holiday has grown in the United States because of its proximity to Christmas. Even so, it doesn’t seem to have the same pressures of huge family gatherings and overwhelming piles of presents to be opened at once. For that reason, Hanukkah has become one of my family’s favorite holidays, one that we can celebrate quietly at home, watching the candles burn down, and making guesses as to which will burn out first.
Here are some tips that I hope will help make celebrating the holiday a little easier for
your family.
Candle Lighting
1. Both my typical child and my autistic one love hearing the prayer and lighting the candles each night. It can be a relaxing and fun ritual without a lot of social pressure. My daughter likes choosing the colors of the candles and my son, who is severely affected by autism, enjoys watching the flickering lights. If your child relies on a schedule to help manage theirs days, don’t forget to add your family’s rituals to their evening schedule. Hanukkah clip art is easy to find online if you need icons for a visual schedule.
School
2. If your child attends school, be sure to tell his or her teacher that you celebrate Chaunkkah so that the holiday can be included in classroom projects and discussions.
Hanukkah is early this year, so make sure the teachers know you’ll be celebrating starting Thanksgiving day!
Food
3. Hanukkah food like latkes (potato pancakes) and jelly doughnuts is generally kid friendly. If your child has food allergies or sensitivities, you are already used to bringing food to parties or altering recipes. Be aware that latkes can be made many different ways, so if you are attending a party, make sure to find out if the latkes include flour, eggs, or other ingredients that your child may not be able to eat.
Gifts
4. Gift giving can be tough with special needs kids. My son was five before he
understood what to do with a wrapped present. If your child enjoys the tearing and unwrapping more than the
gifts inside, make that part of the fun. Use layers of paper, bubble wrap, or other sensory stimulating items to encourage him to tear in. Likewise, if unwrapping is challenging, put the gift in a bag, or don’t feel pressure to wrap at all.
5. I also like to take toys outside of their packaging, and install batteries if necessary, so that my son knows exactly what is inside once he gets the paper off. That way, he doesn’t lose interest or get upset waiting while I have to cut open packages, find batteries, or remove all those annoying little straps connecting the toy to its impossible-to-open package.
6. Because Chanuakkah lasts eight nights, we generally do one big gift and several small gifts. Don’t feel pressure to buy too much, especially if dollar bin toys are what really make your child happy. My son will be getting lots of fidgets this year!
Parties
7. We generally try to avoid large parties, but for some families, the holiday wouldn’t be the same without a festive get-together. Be sure to prepare your child for what to expect
at the party. Find out if there is going to be a gift exchange, and if so, how will it be done. A popular Hanukkah gift exchange game involves giving and stealing gifts, which could be upsetting to kids who don’t understand the rules, or lose a gift they wanted to keep. Feel free to sit out if that is more appropriate for your child.
8. Because my family has one child with special needs and one without, we almost
always take separate cars to social events. This allows some flexibility in case one child
needs to make an earlier exit.
9. We also try to arrive for the action. My son has trouble with unstructured time, so if
we are going to a dinner party, we find out when dinner will be served, and arrive then. If
there is going to be music, we might choose to come just for that portion. Our friends
know about my son’s needs, and are more than happy to accommodate whatever we
need, whether it is a seat at the end of the table or some quiet space in the house to
decompress.
10. Whatever your family’s traditions, remember to have fun and do what works for you.
Our Hanukkah looks a little different from the one I celebrated when I was growing up,
but it works for us. Happy Hanukkah!
Jennifer Bush lives in San Jose, CA with her husband and two children. Her six year old
son is severely affected by autism. You can read more about her family on her personal
blog, Anybody Want A Peanut? (www.wantapeanut.com)
10 Tips for Surviving Hanukkah
with Special Needs Kids