to adopt healthy newborns. However,
she acknowledges that “sometimes birth
mothers are in dire straits and babies
can be born addicted to methadone
or other drugs. Additionally, there are
birth mothers who suffer from mental
illness.” Fleischner notes, “The trend in
adoptions is that they are very open –
that is there is a tremendous sharing of
information, such as medical history.”
Thus, prospective parents are often
aware of addiction or mental health
issues ahead of time.
A common situation which gives rise
to special needs is when families adopt
trans-racially. Such adoptions can be
extremely successful, but Fleischner
observes that in transracial adoptions,
“children are wearing their adoption
on their sleeve.” In her blog, Fleischner
has addressed the pain of racial
discrimination and difference that
transracial adoptees can face.
Cathleen McNee is the administrative
director of A Loving Choice Adoption
Associates and works with prospective
parents all over New Jersey who are
looking to adopt domestically. She
agrees with Fleischner and says, “It is
important to expose a child to as much
of their own culture as possible. It is
necessary to weave some of the child’s
heritage into the family fabric. We have
a number of clients who have been very
successful doing this.”
As part of the adoption process in
New Jersey, all adoptive parents must
undergo a home visit by someone
who is state-licensed. A Loving Choice
conducts such home visits, and McNee
emphasizes “they are not just investigative; there is an educational
component of home study. We give as
many resources as possible.”
International adoptions are another
alternative and come with their own
set of challenges. To begin with,
some countries such as Guatemala
and Russia, which in previous years
were common places from which to
adopt, are now closed to adoption.
201magazine.com
“IT IS IMPORTANT TO EXPOSE A CHILD TO AS
MUCH OF THEIR OWN CULTURE AS POSSIBLE.
IT IS NECESSARY TO WEAVE SOME OF
THE CHILD’S HERITAGE INTO
THE FAMILY FABRIC.”
Cathleen McNee
administrative director, A Loving Choice Adoption Associates
International adoption has become
tougher to accomplish. When it is
possible, adoptive parents need to be
cognizant that children who spent time
in an orphanage, even as infants or
toddlers, may suffer from attachment
disorders. At an age when most
newborns are bonding with parents,
these children were in an institution.
Similarly, those who are adopted
out of foster care may have experienced trauma or loss. They may have
spent time in many different homes.
They need to feel safe. And they need
understanding.
Laura Perry, of Extraordinary
Parent Coaching, who offers adoption,
childhood trauma and special needs
coaching for parents, explains,
“Behavior is a form of communication.
For a child who has lived in an institution or foster care, they may have
sensory processing issues, they may
rock back and forth, or they could be
cutting.”
Perry emphasizes the need for more
post-adoption services, including educational programs. She firmly believes that
“any child who joins a family that they
are not biologically related to is at risk
for having special needs.”
Of course, even when you give birth
to a child, as opposed to adopting one,
that child could have special needs.
According the Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention, one out of 45
children is now diagnosed with autism.
The percent of children 5 to 17 years
of age diagnosed with ADHD is more
than 10 percent. Some reports estimate
that as many as 15 to 20 percent of
Americans are affected by learning
disabilities and disorders.
If you are willing to open your heart
and your family to an adoptive child, the
best thing is to educate yourself about
the child, their background and their
unique needs. Then, advocate for them
and love them as much as possible. ●
– LESLIE PERLMUTTER
RESOURCES
• Adoptive Parents Committee
adoptiveparents.org
• Concerned Persons for Adoption
cpfanj.org
• Robin Fleischner
adoptsurrogatelaw.com
• A Loving Choice Adoption
Associates, alovingchoice.org
• Laura Perry
extraordinaryparentcoaching.com
(201) FAMILY | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016
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