Comedy
www.20somethingsudbury.ca
CHRISTMAS
Two seconds after Halloween was over, everyone started talking about
Christmas. Like my neighbour who debated whether or not to put the
lights up on November 1st or to wait until after Remembrance Day because
the “activists” would be all over him. Or my Mom who started planning
who to send Christmas cards using a flow chart. As an adult, Christmas
can get overwhelming and not to mention, tough on the wallet. It is a
stressful holiday that I would enjoy much more if I could recapture the joy
and enthusiasm that I had for Christmas when I was a child.
Wanna know what I love about Christmas as an adult?
1. Every year, my sister and I prank my Uncle Bob. Last year we convinced
him that Juan, the bell hop from his vacation in Cuba had sent him a
Christmas present filled with assorted sexy underwear, scented lotions
and a plane ticket to “see him anytime...xoxo”.
2. Going to a midnight Christmas dinner at my friend Eric’s house on
Christmas Eve. We eat, laugh and drink until 5:00 am until I catch a cab
to my parent’s place, crash on the couch and wake up at 10:00am ish
to open gifts and have breakfast with my family. It is always the best
morning of the year no matter how hung over I am.
3. My Nana’s Turkey. When I was younger, I made a crack about how
small the Christmas turkey was. I said something a punk fat kid would
say like “What? We are doing Cornish hen this year?” and my Nana has
never let me forget. Now, every Christmas it seems like that turkey gets
bigger and more delicious, even if my Nana one day showed up with a
BBQ chicken from Food Basics.
Every year my parents ask my sister and me for a Christmas list and every
year it gets harder to fill that list. As an adult, you realize what it takes to
make an excellent Christmas. You know that Christmas takes a lot of time
and energy to get the gifts, wrap the gifts, make the fruit cake, get the tree
up, send the cards...it can be exhausting and costly. Not to sound like a
Scrooge but I was pumped when my parents told us this year that they
didn’t want to buy any presents. They said that Christmas is for the kids
and I completely agree with them...at least the gift part.
When you get older, a pair of socks and a gas card counts as a great
gift. I would rather spoil my little cousins with sweet toys that they get
super stoked for. When my sister and I were little we would search for our
presents. Half the fun was sneaking around like little Christmas spies trying
to track down where my folks hid our gifts. One year when we were little,
my parents caught on to our operation.
All we wanted was a CD player. Everyone else had one and they were all
talking about the awesome albums they had. Meanwhile we were listening
to tapes like suckers. We had found a bunch of CD’s a few days ago at our
Nana’s house but no CD player. Assured by the Hootie and the Blowfish
CD that I had discovered, I knew that Christmas morning was go