12-25-Tudors-DIGITAL | Página 21

Witness statements:
Miriam Bothy, next-door neighbour
Well, you know the Catpurses have lived in this house for generations, right back to the old days, when the very first Lord Catpurse used to bring rum to the house from the beach. They always seemed a nice enough family, but quiet. They never got to know anyone in the street, and they never invited anyone into the house, which was strange because this is a very social area. They didn’ t even have visitors at Christmas. I’ ve seen them coming and going a bit more in the last few days – getting ready for the season, I suppose. He( Cyril) looked a bit stressed and was carrying a large, flat object. Lady Catherine, who never spoke to me before, gave me a gift – a white, night-flowering catchfly plant. A peculiar gift, indeed. Maybe I misjudged her.
Officer Upright, chief fire officer
I don’ t know Cyril well; we are members of the same
social club, but we move in different circles. I arrived at
the scene at precisely 10.14pm, having come from the
church where someone reported a suspected break-in.
I saw flames coming from the upper floor of the house and ran into the garden. The maid was out cold on the lawn with the dog sitting beside her, as if keeping watch.
There was no sign of the family and no tracks to follow. I shouted for backup. Father Borely was there within minutes to comfort the community. The fire was out by 11.30pm, but there was still no sign of the Cutpurses. Their belongings are all destroyed, but there is no
Words: Freya Hardy. Illustration: Ed J. Brown
evidence that anyone has perished. Here’ s a funny thing,
though – there’ s a big gap over the fireplace in the dining
room. It looks as if there was something there, and now
it’ s gone. Probably nothing, I just happened to notice.
Father Borely, the vicar
Yes, I was acquainted with the Cutpurses. I was lucky
enough to have had tea with them only last month,
although in truth I invited myself. We talked about the
paintings of Hans Holbein over some delightful fruit
scones. I count myself as something of a Holbein expert,
and I happened to spot a beautiful copy of a painting
called Portrait of a Lady with a Squirrel and a Starling in
their dining room. In fact, Lady Catherine seemed very
Lavinia Cutpurse: Younger daughter, sneakiest sneaky McSneakerson, always sneaking up on people. Missing.
Jenny Yarn-Chopper:
Housekeeper. An incurable chocoholic. Unconscious.
uncomfortable with the direction of conversation and covered the painting up with a curtain after I mentioned it. She said she felt very unwell suddenly and I left the house shortly afterwards. I never saw them again. How very sad this all is. By the time I arrived on the scene, the officers had put out the fire but everything was destroyed.
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