EVIL HR LADY
What you can do
Of course you ’ re disappointed , and I ’ m disappointed for you . You ’ ve been waiting for this promotion for a long time . You can sit down with the person who made the decision and say , “ I was really hoping for this promotion . Can you tell me what skills I lack that kept me from this position ?”
Notice how I phrased this . You ’ re focusing on yourself and not what you perceive as the unfairness of the situation . If you say , “ I ’ ve been here for twice as long as John ! Did he get the promotion because he ’ s a man ?” you ’ re making accusations and putting the person on the defensive . Remember , for his promotion to be illegal gender discrimination , you ’ d have to demonstrate that they chose him because he ’ s a man , not just that you were both qualified and they gave it to a man .
Ask what skills you lack — and then listen . If there is a lot of hemming and hawing and no clear answer , then maybe you have reason to believe the position was filled unfairly . But if you hear , “ You aren ’ t as good at X ,” or , “ We were looking for someone who could do Y ,” then you have something to build on . And , while I hate to say it , it may be time to look for a new job . If you ’ ve been in a position for 20 years without the promotion you want , it may never come at this company . There are plenty of reasons to stay in a long-term job — the devil you know is better than the devil you don ’ t and all that — and you may be approaching retirement there .
All that is fine , but if you really want the promotion you feel you ’ ve earned and deserve , start looking outside the company . And take the feedback you receive and work on those skills as well . It will make you a stronger candidate .
Suzanne Lucas spent 10 years in corporate human resources , where she hired , fired , managed the numbers and doublechecked with the lawyers . On Twitter @ RealEvilHRLady . Send questions to evilhrlady @ gmail . com .
Have you lost a promotion to a fellow employee even though you thought you deserved the job ?
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24 comstocksmag . com | March 2021