As far as my shyness goes, I have grown out of it for the most part as I mature. My heartbeat still quickens as I enter a new classroom of people or a large party, but a calm exterior does not betray this unease. For a second, it feels like I am stepping onto thin air. Then I roll back my shoulders and walk up to offer conversation with someone. I am provided with stepping stones that catch me from falling, thanks to the reminders of all the instances I’ve been down this road before. They guide me along a seemingly unsavory path, easing my hesitation and reminding me of all the times I’ve been down it before.
Often times, I find myself needing to step away, to recharge my social battery and take a moment to myself as I inhale the cool, crisp air of solitude. These moments are precious; they are treasures I hold close to me as I make my way through life. But they are no more valuable to me than the experiences I had among others: from soft-spoken thinkers like me to vibrant socialites.
And my situation is not uncommon. The truth is that one third to one half of the United States' population are introverts. Among America’s booming workforce, it is often hard to distinguish them from those who are naturally gregarious. Some humans develop the tendency of what psychologists call self-monitoring, where we actively alter our behavior to accommodate the social situation. As I present projects or speak in a class discussion, I don a genial disguise, and do my best to channel my own sort of Wall Street businesswoman to make the most of my presentation. I attempt to make eye contact with the class, speak loudly, and pepper my conversation with hand gestures and expressions depending on the audience I am speaking for. At this point, this routine is hardly excruciating to carry out- I am definitely not an extrovert, per se, but it is still a commonplace part of my everyday interactions.
The combination of nurture and nature is a beautiful thing: and the multitude of outcomes present themselves in the mosaic of our society. Wherever you are, be it a bustling classroom, the office, or a reunion- it’s more important than anything to note that even those who seem the most withdrawn and distant from the current situation can in fact be immersed in a rich landscape of their own thoughts. My pseudo-extrovert adaptations are indeed my own kind of Achilles’ armor that empowers me to successfully function among others. But just like Achilles’ armor in the Iliad, I don’t always need to be wearing it for it to give me strength. Among the millions of introverts in our society, I’ll always have a place carved out for me, as a creative, a writer, a thinker. And I won’t need to raise my voice for people to know it.
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